


La Douleur Exquise

by Cinerari



Category: Captain Harlock, Interstella 5555, オズマ | OZMA, 宇宙戦艦ヤマト2199 | Space Battleship Yamato 2199 (Anime), 銀河鉄道物語 | Ginga Tetsudou Monogatari | The Galaxy Railways
Genre: Alternate Universe - It's a Space Brothel, Gay Space Soap Opera, Just so much unrequited love., M/M, Sibling Incest, This is a reputable brothel after all, Too many other characters - Freeform, Unrequited Love, Vague discussion of non-con elements, Vaguer mentions of underage, but none of that's allowed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-02 12:18:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11509293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinerari/pseuds/Cinerari
Summary: They say somewhere out in space, outside the law's reach, is the best brothel in the universe. They say the sheets are clean and the boys are pretty. They say it's called Arcadia for good reason.ORHarlock owns a brothel full of pretty boys with lots of relationship drama.





	1. The Case of White

**Author's Note:**

> Drags out my usual AU cast. "Okay so what if the worst idea?"

I spent the last of my money on a maid uniform. To pull this off, I had to look the part, so I forced my chin up and strode forward like a person who definitely, absolutely had a job at a brothel.

As the maid, of course.

Unless they wanted me to be a whore.

I wasn't going to say no.

For some reason, the place had big wooden doors, the kind that looked too tall and heavy to open. The metal knockers were too high for me to reach, so I rapped at the door with my fist. Maybe I was supposed to just go inside. It was a business after all.

As I waited, the train I'd taken chugged away toward its next stop – probably back to its home planet. I'd been its only passenger, and it was too small to be one of the SDF's usual line. It seemed like it was just a ferry from the planet to the satellite.

I couldn't help but jump back when the door cracked open. "Who are you?" a guy snapped. His tone was venom. His eye was a dagger.

But he was my height. That, I could deal with. Squaring my shoulders, I settled a mask over my face. "I'm the new maid," I said.

With a blink, his anger vanished to boredom. "Oh," he said. "Didn't know you were coming. Guess you can come in then."

He and I looked pretty similar, same dirty-blond hair, same haircut, same brown eyes. But he wasn't dressed for the part. As I slipped in through the crack in the door, I found what I could only describe as a ballroom. Glittering chandeliers hung overhead. Hardwood floors held luxurious couches and curio cabinets filled with even more shining things – one with plates, one with glasses, and one with guns. The guy's turtleneck and worn-out brown jacket just didn't match.

"I don't know where the captain is," he more grumbled than said. He looked like he'd just woken up from a nap, all bleary-eyed and sluggish. "Did you want me to take your bag, uh…?" He squinted at me in the usual sign of waiting for a name.

"Oh, I'm Daiba. T-Tadashi Daiba." Not as stable as in practice, but I'd gotten it out.

He stared at me with his head cocked like a confused dog. "Really?" he said at length.

I could feel myself sweating through my new uniform. My throat swelled shut. I should have known I'd never get away with this.

"That's my name too," he said. "Weird. Well, I'm the bodyguard, so just yell if you need me to kill someone for you."

I forced a laugh with the breath I'd been holding, but his expression didn't change. He stuck out a hand, and I was quick to shove mine into it. This made him blink down at my crushing grip. "Nice to meet you?" I attempted.

"Oh, yeah, so did you want me to take your bag?"

My face felt so hot, I swore I would pass out. "I've got it," I croaked.

He smiled for half a moment before his expression flattened again. "Then I'll show you around real quick."

Up the stairs adorned with an endless rug, and down an even more endless hall, he opened the last door on the left. "This'll be our room," he said. "I'll get a bed set up for you."

It was the size of my whole apartment back home with two beds and two dressers already set up. The furnishings weren't as fancy as the rest of the mansion, but the beds had actual frames. Peering into the connected bathroom, I saw a shower with a frosted glass door.

"It's really nice," I said.

"Not really. You'll be sharing it with me and the cook. Just drop your bag wherever." When I turned back toward him, he cocked his thumb over his shoulder. "Closet with all the cleaning stuff you'd need is right out to the left. Don't go in any of the rooms marked red because that means the guys are at work, and don't go in the room across the hall because that's Kei's and she'll kill you. Hm, that's about it. Yell if you need anything."

With a lazy wave, he walked out. I guessed that was my tour.

Well, I had nothing to do but get to work. If I wanted the boss to accept me, I would need to prove that I was a worthwhile maid.

I had my work cut out for me.

Luxurious as the place was, it became apparent from the moment I started dusting that they hadn't bothered cleaning in a while. They also had a feather duster which, while complimentary to my uniform, was all but useless at actually dusting.

And no matter how I strained on my tip-toes, I couldn't reach half the shelves in the ballroom area. As expected, the other Daiba napped on one of the couches. He didn't even wake up when I vacuumed the rugs.

The place was oddly empty. I'd expected more people, more sleazy clientele and flirty workers. But the big, open space echoed my every footstep. My attempt to drag the vacuum backwards up the stairs was even louder, with it cracking against every step.

That was the only sound until my back hit something solid, and a man spoke near my ear. "Do you need help?"

As my hands shot up into fists, the vacuum went crashing back down to the last step, covering my startled screech. Still, Daiba slept on.

"Whoops," the man said.

I peered over my shoulder, fists still poised to strike. The guy stood on the step above me, frowning down at the shattered remains of the vacuum. He was unfairly attractive, like the kind of guy half-naked in an advertisement.

He was wearing clothes though. Quite a bit of clothes. He had a dress shirt with a vest and slacks. The vest was some shiny green fabric that looked soft but smooth to the touch. Must have been expensive.

He was probably the owner, but it wasn't like I could ask.

"Sorry," I wheezed.

He shrugged. "Eh, my fault." He had the prettiest blue eyes, which went well with the vest, but his hair was such a mess of brunet curls that it threw off the look a bit. "So who are you? Look kinda young to be a new hire."

"You're fucking stupid," Daiba called from below, though he still didn't move. "Why do you think he was carrying a vacuum around? In that outfit?"

"I dunno. Everyone's got weird kinks."

"I'm the new maid," I whispered. My hands found their way to cover my burning face.

"Oh, we've got a maid now?" the man asked. "Nice! I don't have to wash my own sheets anymore."

"No one wants to touch your gross fucking sheets, Dick!" Daiba yelled. He looked awake now, up on his feet and glaring like when I first saw him.

So definitely not the boss then. No employee could get away with that kind of language toward the person paying him.

"Ooo, Big Brother is on the offensive," the man said. "Actually…" He took my chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning it toward him. "You two look really similar. Are you actually related?"

Before I could say no, Daiba spoke. "Yes, that's my little brother. Hands off."

I must have missed something.

The man's eyes went wide like mine, though he didn't let go of my face. "You have a brother? And you let him work here? At a whorehouse?"

"You work at this whorehouse, so it's not like we have the highest standards," Daiba said, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, but I'm an adult. This kid is like five."

Being someone's brother suddenly I could deal with, but I would not take such an insult to my age. I jerked my chin out of his grasp. "I'm fifteen!" I was actually fourteen, but one extra lie wouldn't hurt.

"I can take care of anyone who bothers him!" Daiba added.

Despite his sigh, the man smiled. "Right-right, well anyway, I'm Dick Coyne. You can call me Dick."

"Your name is actually Dick?" I asked before I realized what I was saying. I had half a mind to throw myself down the stairs and share the fate of the vacuum, but Dick laughed.

"Well, my real name is Richard, but that sounds so pretentious. Besides, Dick is an excellent name for a whore. They all want the Dick," he said, eyes gleaming.

"Go burn in hell!" Daiba screamed.

That just made Dick laugh, while I frowned at him, and Daiba seethed. "My name is Tadashi Daiba," I drawled. "It's nice to meet you."

That sobered him up, as he looked between me and Daiba with confusion. "You have the same first name?"

"Yes," Daiba said.

"Then we have too many Tadashis. What'll we call him?"

"That's really not my problem," Daiba huffed as he plopped back down on the couch.

"Hm, we'll work on it then," Dick said. "So, kid." He turned back to me. "If you'll go tidy up my room a bit, I'll see about fixing the vacuum. Deal? I've got a mind for handiwork."

"Not a kid," I said, "but fine."

It wasn't until I'd walked back up the stairs and he'd walked down them that I realized I didn't know which room was his. There were so many doors in just this first hall and undoubtedly even more up the second flight of stairs.

It was much too late to ask because I didn't want to look stupid. One door down the left hall did appear to be cracked open, so I banked on a guess and headed toward it. When I flicked on the lights, I found a massive four-poster bed. The purple blankets matched the purple highlights everywhere else: the lamp, the chair cushion, and the pajamas on the guy who sat up from the bed, rubbing his eyes.

But the more important color was the bright blue of his skin. All of his skin. Blue as a summer sky. Like an idiot, I stood gawking at him.

He looked at me calmly in return before offering a wave. His hair was a spiked up mess of auburn, and his eyes were as blue as his skin with milky white pupils. He was hot like the other guy too. Unfairly hot.

"I'm sorry. I'm the new maid," I rambled in explanation. "I was going to clean, but I'll let you sleep. I'm sorry."

He was frantically waving his hands when I shut the lights back off and closed the door. On stiff legs, I wandered off toward another room. There were massive gaps of space between the doors, showing off how big all the rooms were. When I reached the next one, making sure there were no red markings to be found, I knocked.

"Hm? Yeah?" someone answered. Before I could skitter off with a yell that I'd gotten the wrong room, a guy opened the door. He was younger than the other two I'd seen but still horribly attractive. He had neat curls of brunet hair around big gorgeous brown eyes. He wore the same silky vest as Dick in red and wasn't quite as tall as the other man had been. I came up to his chin instead of his shoulder.

"Oh wow, I thought you were Daiba for a second," he said. "Thought he'd lost some bet to get put in that outfit."

"Uh, I'm the new maid." I'd practiced that line more than any other, so it always came easily. "Sorry to bother. I was looking for empty rooms to clean."

"A maid, thank god," he sighed. "It's about time. But how old are you? Oh, I should introduce myself first. I'm Susumu Kodai, one of the whores, as you probably guessed."

He was way too relaxed about it, so I tried to be too. "I'm Tadashi Daiba. I'm fifteen."

"Tadashi Daiba?"

"The other Daiba is my brother." Not that it made any sense.

"Huh, I didn't know he had a brother," Kodai said.

Me either.

Peering around him, I couldn't help but notice the accents of the room matched his vest, all red as blood. "Are the rooms color coded?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's kind of stupid, right?" he said with a smile. He looked even more attractive when smiling. "It's an ease of access thing. Keeps the clients from getting lost. You tell them to meet at the red room or the orange or whatever."

His glance up over my shoulder was my only warning before a voice appeared at my back for the second time that day.

"Is this the new uniform? It should be. You'd look great in one of these, little brother."

Something tugged at the hem of my dress. Before I could turn to look, Kodai snapped, "He's fifteen," and the tugging stopped. Once I glanced back, I found a taller, older guy patting the hem of my dress back down into place, his eyes wide and empty like he'd seen some horror.

Kodai heaved a sigh. "This is my older brother, Mamoru. Mamoru, this is the new maid, Tadashi Daiba. He's our Daiba's brother."

Mamoru looked up puzzled, and damn, he was attractive too. His hair was cut shorter than his brother's, and his eyes were more mature. He looked well-muscled, and he had a curve to his jaw that just screamed poster boy. His vest was a warm orange.

"Didn't know Daiba had a brother," he said. "You're cute though. Nice to meet you." With a gorgeous smile, he patted me on the head. "Please don't tell your brother about the skirt thing, or he'll kill me."

"Skirt thing?" I asked.

"It's nothing. My room is the next one down the hall, so just pop by if you ever need anything. Susumu is usually in there too because he sleeps there."

"No, I just work there," Susumu said.

By the time my eyes widened with the realization of what his work entailed, Mamoru was already speaking again. "I know. It's like you don't even love me."

"Fancy that," Susumu said dryly.

"I've got to go clean!" I said, slipping off as they continued on into an argument.

"You don't have to be so mad. I didn't see anything, just frills. Thank god."

"That doesn't make it okay, you gross pervert."

Skipping over Mamoru's door, I went to the next one. Knocking at this one greeted me with a man who looked tired and too tall. Just really tall. Really attractive and tall. He rubbed at his eyes, tinged red like his hair. He was older than the rest, maybe thirty. His nose was too long, but it was cute that way. The same went for his hair, which curled up at the ends like a mess of cowlicks.

"Hello, I'm the new maid." It was coming easier now. "I was looking for rooms to clean. Sorry to bother you."

He blinked down at me for a moment before speaking. "How old are you?" he asked.

"I'm fifteen."

Heaving a sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to kill him," he whispered. With a quick pat to my head and a "wait here," he stormed off down the hall.

His room was already clean by the look of things, highlighted with the same yellow his vest had been. Rather than wait, I meandered over to the next room. Finally, after no one answered the door, I opened it to find the elusive green room. It was a goddamn mess. I couldn't help but feel I'd gotten the poorer end of the deal as I picked laundry off his floor. The laundry room must have been downstairs because the chute in the wall dropped off into an abyss.

Once everything was as clean as it could get from my bare hands, I set off in search of the laundry room. The man in yellow still hadn't returned, the Kodais had found another place to argue, and the alien's door was still closed.

As I reached the stairs, another man came down from the second flight. He wore a black vest and a lack of expression. He didn't really need one. The scar across his cheek and the eyepatch gave enough away to show that I needn't bother him. He was almost as tall as the man in yellow with messy ash-brown hair.

I nodded in greeting, hoping to just pass by, but he spoke. "Who are you?"

"I'm Tadashi Daiba. I'm the new maid."

"Oh, alright." With a nod, he turned down the opposite hall and left. My throat finally let me breathe again.

Downstairs, the pieces of the vacuum were all gone along with Dick, and Daiba slept on.

"Alright," I grumbled as I headed for the nearest door. "What's behind door number six?"

No prizes for me, as I wound up in a dining room with one overly long table. A guy not much older than me sat at the only filled seat sipping a cup of tea or coffee or something. He looked bored as anything, staring off into space. He was attractive, but not like the others. He was more cute than hot, his hair full of long, messy brunet curls that seemed to kiss his round cheeks. Even sitting, I could tell he wasn't much taller than me.

For a moment, I felt sure he was the cook, but the blue vest threw out that theory.

"Um, hello, I'm the new maid," I greeted.

"Oh, hi there." He smiled in a warm sort of way that made his brown eye shine. "I'm the new whore."

He seemed trustworthy enough, so I crossed the room to him. "My name is Tadashi Daiba. I'm the other Daiba's brother."

"Nice to meet you," was all he had to say on the matter. "I'm Manabu Yuuki."

"So your room is blue, I'm guessing?"

"That's right," he said with a laugh. "My uncle isn't much for interior decorating."

"Your uncle?"

"Yeah, he's the owner. He built this station."

I couldn't say I knew much about how brothels tended to be run, but a man hiring his own nephew as a whore seemed weird. Surely, that was abnormal.

"So do no girls work here?" I asked. "I've only seen guys."

"Well, Kei works as a bodyguard, but all the whores are guys."

"Why?" I asked.

He shrugged. "My uncle didn't have any women to start out with, so we got a following of male clients who were into guys."

"No women come here?"

"Nah, we're all super gay." He smiled at whatever odd look scrunched up my face. "Okay, some of the guys are pan or bi, too."

"What about, uh, the alien?"

"Oh, Shep?" He grinned. "He has the most devoted clients, actually, but we have no idea what's in his pants. Can't say we really care either."

Alright, Shep, so I had a name for the alien. Then there was bodyguard Daiba, weird guy Dick, brothers Mamoru and Susumu, fabled girl Kei, some mysterious cook, and the other two guys I'd run into. "What about the tall guy in the yellow room?" I asked. "I didn't get his name either."

"That's Warrius Zero. You can just call him Zero. He's real friendly. Surprised he didn't give you his name."

"Well, he stormed off saying how he was going to kill someone."

"Ah, yeah, that happens." I waited for him to smile about his joke, but he seemed perfectly serious.

"And the one with the black vest?"

He looked at me like I'd asked how many stars there were outside. "You mean Phantom?"

"I guess? Has an eyepatch?"

"That's my uncle," he said. "Didn't he hire you?"

Well, I'd fucked up. I'd really fucked up.

"I did," a deep voice responded as a hand clamped down on my shoulder. "He's our new maid."

"Phantom" stood beside me, looking unfazed by the matter. He was also incredibly attractive. "He's done a good job so far," he added.

"Did you make him wear that outfit though?" Yuuki asked. "That's kinda sleazy, isn't it?"

"I didn't make him wear it," Phantom sighed. "But he can wear it if he wants."

"It's cute!" Daiba insisted as he also popped up behind me. "You can fight me if you're going to insult my brother, Manabu."

Laughing, Yuuki put his hands up in surrender.

"If you'll come with me, Tadashi," Phantom said. "I need to discuss the terms of your contract with you."

My heart hammered in my throat as he took me gently by the arm and led me back toward the stairs. He might as well have been dragging me because my legs didn't seem to be working. Daiba trailed behind us until we returned to our room. A third bed and dresser had joined the space. Phantom pulled me to the bed, and pressed on my shoulders to sit me down on it.

"Alright," he began. I was sure I would throw up on his nice shoes. "I'm not going to ask why you're here. I don't really care as long as it was of your own will. Obviously, I'm not going to let clients anywhere near you. You're four years too young for that."

Four years? Then he knew I was fourteen.

"You sure you didn't hire him while drunk?" Daiba asked.

"That only happened the one time," Phantom said. "It doesn't matter. He's hired now."

"You're okay with me staying?" I asked, my whole body shaking either from fear or how little I'd eaten in three days.

"Yes. As long as you work, room and board are covered. And as long as you stay here, you're under my protection."

"Mine too," Daiba said.

Phantom nodded. "Daiba is your cover for now. Between the two of us and the rest of the boys, we'll take care of you."

"Thank you," I said airily, "Mr. Phantom."

"Oh god, please call me Harlock."

"Or Captain." Daiba said.

"Captain is fine too."

"Um, thank you… Captain."

He smiled, somewhat cocky like Dick but kind like his nephew. "Then welcome to Arcadia, Tadashi."

He was really,  _really_  attractive when he smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to request smut of any of the boys (except the underage ones because that doesn't really adhere to this story's rules) if you want to see particular ones fuckin, and if I'm up for writing it and can work it into the story, I'll write you some rarepair porn. It is a brothel after all.


	2. The Case of Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really this fic should just be called "Everyone gives Harlock a hard time."

Clients who requested full lineups were always trouble. I gave a list of each boy’s specialty, and most clients were happy to pick based on that. Some requested to see one or two in person before deciding, but then there were these bastards.

All the boys chose spots around the couches, some more relaxed than others as the client eyed them like a row of produce. I stood by behind him, enough to the side that I could watch his face with my good eye.

Clients who requested full lineups were trouble because they thought they could have whatever they wanted. The list of each boy’s specialty also came with each boy’s boundaries. Almost every time Daiba had been called to throw a client out, he’d been one to ask for a lineup.

I had no evidence against this one. His record was fairly clean, and he could certainly afford any of the boys with the bank account I’d seen, though the way his brows pinched when he glanced at Manabu made it apparent he had some limits.

Manabu must have noticed the look, must have learned to recognize it, because his shoulders slumped. I’d also learned to hide my relief as he was passed over yet again.

Susumu sat leaned against his brother’s side. The two were whispering about something that had Mamoru smiling. They didn’t seem too interested in the client, but at least they didn’t look as bored and unimpressed as Zero. He stared the client down as though daring him to have the gall to pick anyone. Not good for business, but I wasn’t going to get onto him.

With Shep looking sleepy from his early-morning clients, Richard was the only one bothering to smile at the client. But, well, that was Richard.

Naturally, the client picked him, and his expression lit up with the gleam in his eyes. It was for the best, as the boundaries listed for Richard were…near-nonexistent.

My brother would do anything for money.

The rest of the boys dispersed with sighs and yawns, most meandering to the dining room to harass Tadas- Monono for lunch. I did, however, find myself with a tail as I headed upstairs. “Hey, Uncle Phantom?” Manabu called as he rushed to keep up with me. I had a feeling I knew what this was about.

“Yes, Manabu?”

“Do you know if Dad’s coming today? I think he has the day off.”

I sucked in air to keep from sighing. “I believe he is.”

A sideways glance showed Manabu’s expression weighted by weariness, so I reached up and ruffled his already-messy hair. “You won’t have to talk to him,” I said. “I can sick Daiba on him if need-be.”

“I don’t want him dead,” Manabu said, fighting back a smile. “But if you can get him to leave me alone, I’d appreciate it.”

“I’m not a miracle worker, but I’ll make sure he doesn’t bother you today.” Even that much was easier said than done. I could see Manabu breathe easier at the prospect, though. He murmured a quiet thanks before darting back down the stairs toward lunch.

Leaving one trouble behind, I found a new one as I entered my office. Tadashi, who’d stolen the name from Monono and left me eternally mixed up, was climbing my shelves in an effort to dust everything. Thankfully the shelves were nailed to the wall, or everything would have come tumbling down on top of him.

For whatever reason, he was still wearing that maid uniform. I wasn’t sure why I’d bothered to get him new clothes. He’d seemed confused when I’d handed them to him. “Are these my uniform?” he’d asked.

“You don’t have a uniform,” I’d said. “You can wear whatever you like.”

Later I’d seen Daiba wearing the clothes, Tadashi still in his uniform. I wasn’t sure what I’d expected.

“I can get you a step-stool if you need one,” I called as Tadashi managed to reach the top shelf where I kept my old saber.

“I’ve got it,” he said.

“Very well. Do you need any other cleaning supplies ordered?”

“Oh yeah.” He batted at the saber with the feather duster. “Like everything.”

Honestly, that may have been a fair assessment. I could only recall buying a few cleaning tools in all the years, after Zero complained over the state of things. As I sat down to order “everything,” said-complainer popped through the door. Whatever scolding I was about to receive halted as he noticed Tadashi clinging to the shelf.

“Goodness, we’ll get you a step-stool,” Zero said as he rushed over and grabbed the boy under the arms to pry him away from the shelf.

“I’ve got it!” Tadashi insisted with a huff.

“Sure you do,” Zero said. “Now go get lunch. You’re on break.”

Tadashi looked to me for confirmation, and I nodded; then he was off like a flash. “I’ve never seen anyone quite so oblivious to a tactic to get him to leave,” I said.

Zero went over to close the door behind him. “I’ve never met anyone so eager to eat,” he said. “But I guess he is a teenage boy.”

“I know you’re still upset about it, but you’re not-”

“I know he needed the help. I know.” Heaving a sigh, he walked over and took a seat on my desk. He never would have admitted it, but he sat on my bad side or turned his back when he was upset. He never liked to give too much away. “What happens if Wataru finds out?” he asked.

“He may have the kid’s wanted poster already, but I think I can talk him down. That crime has too many inconsistencies.”

“Maybe, but he’s still going to be furious you hired another underaged boy. Might actually kill you this time.”

I smiled, resting my chin in my palm. “You didn’t, and you said you would.”

He turned enough for me to see his glare. “I considered it.”

“Come on, you’ve been begging for a maid for ages.”

“I have not! I’ve been trying to get all of you to clean for ages!”

He was a saint for attempting such a feat, but I’d ruined things with how much I spoiled the boys. “Well, now you don’t have to worry about it,” I said, hoping he’d be willing to drop the subject. “Anyway, I need you to help me make sure Wataru doesn’t bother Manabu when he comes.”

He saw through my ploy. “Don’t change the subject! And good God, Harlock, you’re asking a lot.”

“Just seduce him or something. You can do it.”

The unamused glare he sent piercing through me suggested otherwise. “That man is so oblivious he wouldn’t realize someone was hitting on him if they started stripping in front of him.”

“Do you know that from experience or-”

It wasn’t that I didn’t know what was coming. I just wasn’t fast enough to avoid it. His hand caught be around the back of the head, dragging down to slam my forehead into my keyboard. I couldn’t say it wasn’t fair, really.

“Get back to work,” he snapped. “And no more full lineups. I don’t trust those assholes.”

He left me to my throbbing head, as per usual. Monono came in later with a tray of smoked fish and rice. Since I was already buying a truckload of cleaning supplies, I asked him if he needed anything while I was at it.

“You could get some more plates and glasses. The new guy broke a lot when I let him help me do dishes. I don’t know how he did it. He just kept breaking them.” Bewildered, he shook his head. “I told him I would handle the dishes from now on.”

Tadashi worked hard, so hard that he was covered in dust and dryer lint by the end of each day. When he mopped, he somehow soaked his socks up to the knee. He was certainly one of my more reliable workers.

But he seemed to break everything. He’d shattered the vacuum on his first day, though Richard had managed to fix it into an odd Frankenstein’s monster of plastic, glue, and tape. Tadashi had gone on to knock a hole in a wall, snap off part of the stair banister, and break one of his own fingers. Daiba patched it up for him so quickly he didn’t have time to cry.

I wasn’t sure how he managed any of that, but at least the place got clean. He also had helped me weed out a few bad clients who had asked after him upon seeing him in the foyer. Daiba was quick to dispose of them.

Daiba was also quick to follow Wataru into my office after my brother slammed my door open. “What is that small girl in a dress doing downstairs?” Wataru demanded.

Before I could answer, Daiba jumped between us. “That’s my brother,” he hissed. He’d certainly invested himself in the role. “I’m looking after him.”

Realizing his mistake took some of the fire out of Wataru. “Sorry,” he said, blinking rapidly. “But that boy is clearly underage. You can’t have him-”

“He’s safer here,” Daiba said, his voice laced with venom. “I won’t let you take him.”

Wataru knew better than to fight Daiba on anything. We all knew better. Wataru put his hands up in surrender, though as he looked down at the boy, his eyes narrowed. “You don’t have a brother,” he said.

“I do now,” Daiba returned without hesitation. “Let this go.”

Wataru’s shoulders were tense with the urge to argue, but he relaxed with a slow exhale. Stepping past Daiba, he strode up to me. “The SDF sent me an update on criminals that may be in the area. There were more than usual this round, so keep your head up.”

He pulled a drive from his coat pocket and set it in front of me. This was our usual routine. He gave me confidential information, and I gave him anyone I came across on those wanted posters. “Not all my clients are criminals,” I said as I snapped the drive into my computer.

Wataru crossed his arms. “Oh, I know. You have a few rich bastards sprinkled in the mix.”

“A few bored SDF passersby too,” I murmured.

He stared down his nose at me as I flipped through the latest batch. I could usually tell based on looks alone if someone had a chance of stopping by - the ones with cockiness in their eyes. Standard petty-crime types tried to keep their heads low. Arcadia was flashy for a reason. The cocky ones always seemed lured-in by the shine.

As I neared the end of the list, my gaze caught the wanted poster I’d already seen. I kept myself from lingering on it - the photo of a smiling young boy, clearly pulled from some family album and slapped on the poster.

The name was different and his hair was longer, but it was clearly my new maid. Wataru didn’t seem to have noticed yet. I flicked my eye back up toward him. “Anything else?” I asked.

“I want you to release Manabu from his contract,” he said like a man who’d repeated the same thing dozens of times.

“No,” I returned the same way. “It’s a contract. That’s not how they work.”

Naturally, he switched to his scolding dad voice like that had ever worked with me. “Phantom.”

“Wataru,” I mocked. “If you’re done, go enjoy your day off. You know you’re not supposed to work during those.”

He crossed his arms. “I came to visit my son. Giving you the drive just happened to coincide.”

“Manabu’s busy,” I said, as though my nephew ever had a moment’s work since signing his contract. “You should come on his off-day.”

For a split second, Wataru believed my lie. Horror and rage flashed through his eyes. My death would have been quick had he not come to his senses. “I’m going to see him,” he huffed.

“No you’re not. No one sees my boys without permission.”

“He’s  _my_ boy.”

“No one owns him!” Daiba roared, startling both of us.

Daiba would fight us both if I didn’t find a way to ease the situation, not that I would mind fighting my brother myself.

“Not today, Wataru,” I said. “Leave him be for now.”

I waited for his rebuttal, but his shoulders dropped the same way his son’s had. “So he said he didn’t want to see me. Very well.”

“Any of the other boys would be happy for your company.”

He didn’t have the energy to be mad at my usual joke. “Don’t do anything stupid, Phantom,” he said with a sigh as he left. Ever untrusting, Daiba followed him out.

The silence of the room held me for a minute before I stood and left as well. Manabu’s room was empty. Instead, I found him in Zero’s violently yellow one. Sitting on Zero’s bed, Manabu sipped tea out of his usual blue mug.

“Your father left, so you can come out of hiding,” I said.

Rather than looking relieved, his brows pinched, and he stared into his mug. “Was he mad?”

“A bit. He’s always a bit mad.” Usually at me. 

Manabu’s hands tightened around the ceramic. “We always argue when he comes over. I just didn’t want to argue again.”

At his desk chair, Zero sipped something probably-alcoholic from his own mug. “He’s just worried about you.”

“I know but-!” He huffed, his shoulders scrunched up by his ears. “It’s really annoying! I can’t get laid!”

Zero and I both tried to block him out as he continued, glancing around the room as though it could protect us.

“Clients are like ‘oh, aren’t you that one guy’s son? I heard he’d kill anyone who went near you.’ Like, how does he make something like that known? Why does everyone know we’re related? We don’t look that much alike.”

They did.

“I started this job to get fucked by guys! And I haven’t been fucked by one guy! This sucks! I’m horny!”

At some point, Zero had put his face in his hands. He clearly hadn’t had enough to drink, and neither had I. The other boys talked about far more explicit things. I could deal with that, but I’d known Manabu since he was a baby.

“Uncle,” he whined. “You can get me a client, right?”

We’d already had this conversation too many times, and I rubbed my fingers across my forehead as I repeated my usual line. “We’ll get you one.” 

“Would I be more appealing if I weren’t a virgin?”

Zero whispered a scream as I threw up my hands. “I’m throwing in the towel on this conversation. Your contract says you stay a virgin ‘til- so just- I’m going to go drink.”

“Boo,” Manabu called as I skittered toward the door. “Uncle Phantom, get me a guy to sleep with, or I’ll keep telling you these things!”

“I’ll sleep with him!” I heard Mamoru yell from his room next-door to Zero’s.

“No!” I snapped at both of them, caught between the rooms. “Both of you be quiet! There are minors present!”

“Captain, it’s a brothel,” Mamoru yelled back.

“But it’s my brothel! I make the rules!”

Manabu appeared in the door-frame, leaning against it with the same unamused look in his eyes that his father got. “Do I still count as a virgin if it’s just like handjobs?”

Unable to look at him, I pointed down the hall. “No. Now go to your room. You’re in timeout.”

“Time out? You’re not my dad.”

“I’m your boss!”

“Timeout,” Zero said. Glancing up, I saw him pushing Manabu toward his room. “Off you go.”

“So is it a brothel or a daycare?” Mamoru asked as he peered out of his room. “We’ve got all the usual daycare trappings: brightly colored rooms, timeout, actual children.”

“You’re in timeout too,” I said, pushing against his head to shove him back inside.

I was far, far too sober to deal with them.

Monono found me sitting on the kitchen countertop holding a bottle of wine. He had me move my legs so he could get into the cabinets. “I need some of that for cooking, so don’t drink it all,” he said.

“Why did I hire my nephew?” I whispered.

“I dunno. It was pretty weird,” he said, examining a wok.

“His father is going to kill me.”

“Probably- Dick, put a shirt on!”

I looked up to find my other brother poking around in the fridge. He didn’t have pants on either, just his boxers, though he’d clearly showered judging by the wet hair sticking to his cheeks. “Dick, put a shirt on,” I said.

“Yeah-yeah. I’m hungry.” He pulled out an apple and took a bite. “I don’t know why you’re all stressed about hiring family,” he said between chews. “Hired me.”

“Don’t remind me.” I had actually been drunk at the time, but he’d begged me for the job just like Manabu had.

“That guy was alright,” he said. “Hope he comes back. Easy money. Did you get the new wanted list today?”

“Mm-hm,” I said through another swig of wine.

“Anyone interesting?”

“No.”

“Anyone hot?”

“Absolutely not.”

Why was all of my family like this?

Daiba walked in, looking annoyed as usual. “Hey, Captain- Dick, where the fuck are your clothes?”

“On the floor,” Dick said.

For once, Daiba reined in his urge to scream at Dick, turning back toward me. “A client showed up without warning. Should I kick his ass?”

“Not yet. If he’s new I’ll have to talk to him and do a background check.” Not that I was in the best state to do that, but I’d been worse. “Put some clothes on, Dick,” I said as I hopped down from the counter. “You can’t go around looking like that when we have clients.”

He cocked a brow and gestured at his bare torso. “But isn’t this what they’re here for?”

Clients were usually only interested in what was below the belt, but this was the last conversation I wanted to have with my brother, so I muttered another “Put some clothes on,” and headed for the foyer.

Clients came in a set few breeds I’d come to know over time. This guy was one of the rare exceptions. He sat on the longer lounge couch, wearing an easygoing smile that reached eyes the color of a fresh bruise. Susumu sat nearby, clearly charmed by whatever he was saying, or at least acting the part to earn his favor. He may have been from the same race as Shep or a related one, as his skin was about the same shade of blue, his hair blond like a wheat field. He may have been military judging from the gray uniform.

But even the occasional SDF member or soldier we got never saw fit to sit and talk with the boys. Tolerable clients saw the boys as workers, though viewing them like tools was more common. Only a handful ever treated them like people.

Manabu and Mamoru must have still been in timeout, but Zero and Shep were seated nearby as well. Shep wore his usual smile, while Zero couldn’t hide his curiosity.

“I admit, I didn’t know what to expect coming in,” the man was saying. “I heard good things, and the decor is certainly nice. The company is not bad either,  though it’s quieter than I was expecting.”

“We don’t have many clients scheduled on Mondays,” I said.

His piercing eyes shot toward me, bright with interest. “I suppose I came at the right time then. Are you the man in charge?”

“I am. You may call me Harlock.”

“Desslar,” he said with that winning smile.

Shep’s eyes widened. Zero’s jaw dropped. I shook my head. Surely not… “Abelt Desslar?”

“The Galman king?” Susumu asked.

With a soft laugh, he scratched at his cheek with a gloved hand. “Ah, it seems I’ve been found out, though ‘king’ is such a human term. I’d prefer to avoid any formalities while I’m here if that’s alright.”

“Well aren’t we moving up in the world?” Zero muttered. “Entertaining royalty along with our criminals.”

This may have been one of the “stupid” things my older brother warned me not to do, but then again, who paid better than royalty?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Desslar's name can be spelled so many ways, jeez. I'm going more 2199 Desslar than original series here if that tells you anything.


	3. The Case of Red

“What’s the point of coming here when you can have your own personal harem?” I asked as I stretched out along the couch. Shep smiled down at me when I rested my head in his lap. I was so accustomed to being snuggled up against Mamoru that it felt weird not being close to someone. Luckily, boundaries didn’t exist for most of the guys.

“His race may not have the concept of a harem, or they may be against it,” Zero said, still eyeing the stairs where Harlock had gone with Desslar. “Besides, this place is pretty well off the map. He may not want to let word of his escapades get out.”

I looked up to Shep, who’d taken to running his fingers through my hair. “Sorry if this is rude, but are you and him the same race?” I asked.

He shook his head. Harlock and Zero had known Shep longer than the rest of us, and if they knew what race he was, they’d never mentioned. Shep didn’t write, speak, or sign in a way that any of us could understand, so it just made me more curious about him.

“The Gamilas were the first alien race to come into contact with humans,” Zero said. “A big, nonsensical war broke out, but no one can agree on who fired the first shot, so there’s still a little bad blood there, even after all this time.”

“Oh yeah, I know,” I said before he could give me a proper history lesson. “Don’t mention it around Mamoru, or he’ll launch into a big spiel just like my father did about how we have all this family history in that war. Speaking of, where is Mamoru?” I didn’t often get more than a few minutes without him. Had to keep up the act, so he stuck to me like flypaper.

Zero snorted. “He’s in timeout.”

“What-? You know, I don’t even want to know.” My brother had a knack for getting himself in trouble. The first time I visited the brothel was after Mamoru had pissed off a client and wound up with some cracked ribs and ugly bruises.

He didn’t want to tell me about it at the time. I only found out through a letter from Harlock, a nice apology with an offer to pay for a train ride to visit and confirm my brother was alright. Considering my brother failed to mention he’d been working at a brothel, or working anywhere for that matter, I took Harlock up on his offer.

Mamoru greeted me wide-eyed, like when we’d been caught breaking rules as kids. “Susumu!? What are you doing here?”

If he wasn’t going to tell me about having gotten hurt, I wasn’t going to tell him I was coming.

He did look roughed-up enough for me to take pity on him. Though his eye shone through his black eye, the purple and red splotches suggested that it had been swollen shut not long ago. Between that and the cut on his lip, I doubted anyone was paying to sleep with him.

“Mamoru,” I sighed as I wrapped him in a careful hug. He still choked in pain, but I felt he deserved that much. “You’re an idiot.”

He pulled back to glance over me, as though I were the one to be worried about.

“How did you know I was here?” he asked.

“I could sense you being stupid from light years away.”

“I told him,” the man who must have been Harlock corrected as he descended the stairs. I’d expected some skeevy, old rich guy, but Harlock wasn’t much older than Mamoru. He didn’t look skeevy, though definitely rich. “I felt he had a right to come check on you. You do send him half the money you make.”

“I didn’t need money,” I said, glaring up at Mamoru. “You should have let me send it back. I got room and board from the military just fine.”

He at least had the sense to look guilty. “I just wanted to make sure you’d be set up in case something happened.”

“Why didn’t you contact me? The military has you listed as MIA. Did you defect? I thought you were dead until I started getting money.”

“The military, uh, they’re…um…” He gnawed the cut on his lip. “We had a falling out, and I didn’t want that to fall back on you. I also didn’t want anyone giving you trouble if it got around that your brother was a whore,” He lowered his voice, “and also a traitor.”

He might as well have actually stabbed me in the back. For a moment, all I could do was try to blink back into some other reality. I glanced to Harlock for an explanation or a reaction or anything, but his expression hadn’t changed.

“Okay,” I whispered. “Okay.” If my brother were a traitor and I knew about it, not turning him in was traitorous too. And if my brother were a traitor, an enemy to the government, then I would be too.

“So how do I work here?” I asked Harlock. This  _was_ enough to surprise him. His brows shot up.

Once Mamoru got over being stunned, he lost all composure. “Wait, what are you saying? You can’t work here. Susumu, this is a brothel!”

I shrugged. “So what? I just gotta fuck some girls?”

“Guys,” Harlock said. “And usually it’s the other way around.”

“That’s fine too. Who cares? I used my body for my military work, so it’s about the same.”

Despite my brother’s distressed stuttering, Harlock was smiling. “I appreciate your resolve, and while I’m not opposed, I’m not sure if that attitude is good for sex work. You have to be convincing to clients.”

I never backed down from a challenge. Squaring my shoulders, I stared him down. “I can be convincing. Do you need me to sleep with you to prove it? Is that how the interview works?”

Their roles reversed in an instant. Harlock was the one stuttering in horror, and Mamoru was snickering. Leaning in close, Mamoru murmured, “I’m not sure he’s ever actually slept with anyone.”

Harlock seemed to know he should be annoyed by what Mamoru had said, even if he couldn’t hear it. He regained his composure by glaring at my brother, while Mamoru put on his best mask of innocence.  

“Anyway,” Harlock drawled. “If you’re determined to work here, clients are the ones who will judge your proficiency in bed.”

Mamoru gave one more half-hearted attempt to stop me. “Susumu, don’t,” he said. His hand clamped down on my shoulder and squeezed hard enough to ache.

He’d never been able to win an argument against me though. “I either have to be your accomplice or your enemy,” I said, “and if I’m your accomplice, I need a new place to stay.”

Despite the pain in his eyes, his shoulders relaxed. Liar that he was, he wanted me there. We were the only family we had, and we hated having stars and planets between us.

Harlock didn’t seem to want me as a worker, but he didn’t seem to  _not_ want me either. “It’ll be…interesting,” he said at one point in the interview, “having brothers here… Proper brothers.”

The interview itself was a series of steadily-more invasive questions, with Harlock also steadily sinking below his desk. His voice grew weak when he read anything explicit. I found it endearing, actually, and struggled not to smile for most of the interview.

“And how do you feel about threesomes or-” He cleared his throat. “-more than that?”

As with most of the questions, I shrugged. “I’d be wary about being with more than two clients by myself, I guess. It would be easy for things to get out of hand. But if it’s the other guys or whatever, that’s fine.”

He nodded as he jotted something down on his computer, but his hands slowed. His brows pinched as he looked back at me. He hadn’t managed much eye contact during the interview, so I sat up a bit. “What about your brother?” he asked. “What if a client asked for you both?”

“I can’t speak for Mamoru, but I could deal with it.”

I expected shock or anger, but Harlock’s gaze pulled inward with confusion for a moment before he looked back at me. “You’re sure?”

“Isn’t most of this job an act? You act interested in the client. You act like you’re enjoying yourself.” Once again, I shrugged. “Wouldn’t be so different to act that way with Mamoru.”

Harlock mulled this over as he typed a few more notes. For a stretch, I sat wriggling in my seat in silence. When his eye shot back, he pinned me still. “Be honest with me,” he said. “Do you have feelings for your brother?”

I found some weird amusement from the fact that he hadn’t been the first to ask that. We’d always been close. “Beyond familial, no,” I said.

“And Mamoru?”

I shook my head. “I’ve seen him in love. He can’t hide it. If he had feelings for me, I would have noticed.”

I don’t think Harlock would have cared either way. When I started work, he certainly didn’t care when clients would only buy me alongside my brother. I hadn’t expected that to be an untapped market, but none of the other guys seemed surprised. Uncomfortable, but not surprised. Occasionally I’d get pulled with one of the other guys instead of Mamoru but never alone.

“Honestly, you’re just non-threatening is all,” Dick said when I asked about it. 

As I sat cross-legged on his rumpled bed, he sat on his knees in front of me, holding my arm and checking me over for bruises. The last client had been a tad rough. 

“You don’t stand out much,” he continued. “Don’t really have your own tick.”

“Tick?” I asked as he took my other arm.

“Hm, you know like niche or- Really, what kink you satisfy for them. Mamoru is a generically attractive playboy, Shep’s got whatever he’s got, and I’ve got, well-” He gestured to his dresser full of…everything. Dick took care of all the guys even my brother wouldn’t touch.

Taking my chin in his hand, he tilted my head to examine my neck. “You just don’t have your own means of standing out yet, and that makes you good threesome fodder. Clients don’t want too much personality, or they’ll get lost in the shuffle, so they pick their preferred kink, and they drag you along.”

His train of thought ended with a click of his tongue. “Bastard did a number on you. I’ll have Harlock give him a warning. You’re going to need to assert yourself a little more, or they’ll be more likely to use you like an object.”

That was a little difficult when I always played second fiddle, not that I minded. The other guys led, and I followed.

So when Harlock called me upstairs to the second landing, I expected Desslar had asked after at least two of us, but Harlock’s expression was odd, pinched. “Susumu, he requested you.”

“Not…just me, right?”

“Just you.”

I felt my face mirroring Harlock’s. “Huh,” I managed. “So he checked out?”

“I don’t see any issues, but of course you’re welcome to turn him down. You don’t have to feel pressured just because of his status.”

Desslar seemed like a nice enough client, maybe a bit full of himself, but polite. He was certainly attractive, pretty as any of us, which was always a plus. “Well, I don’t see why not,” I said. “I work here, after all. It’s about time I had my own client.”

“Alright,” he sighed. “There’s one more thing. He wants you exclusive.”

“He what?” I understood, but I felt like I couldn’t have heard him right, or maybe I was wrong about what that meant. Clients had tried to get some of the other guys exclusive before, but Harlock charged so much that they always backed out upon hearing an estimate.

“He’s willing to pay enough to cover all the clients you would lose from those scheduled for you and Mamoru. You would beat out Shep as the highest earner. God knows where he’s getting all the money from, but again, you’re welcome to turn him down.”

With a huff of breath, I rocked back on my heels. Mamoru always talked about hoarding funds like a squirrel storing for winter. He was worried about the future. With money like that, we would be set.

“Guy like that’ll probably get bored of me quick anyway,” I reasoned. “So I wouldn’t mind being exclusive for a while. He did see the other guys though, right?”

A smile tugged at Harlock’s lips. “He did. I suppose you’re just his type. Don’t sell yourself short, Susumu. You are attractive.”

I broke into a grin. “But you haven’t slept with me once.”

All amusement left his face, and he shook his head as he started back toward his office. “Susumu, stop letting your brother influence you.”

“Aww, lighten up, Captain. Hey, does he want me today?”

“He might,” Harlock answered without turning his head. “Be ready.”

“I’ll get cleaned up real quick.”

As I started down the hall, my eye caught Mamoru’s door. A groan left me. If I didn’t tell him, he’d whine, and if I did tell him, he’d whine. Regardless, I popped his door open and stuck my head in to find him passed out on his bed. “Sleeping on the job?” I said.

One of his eyes dragged open before the other. He broke into a yawn as he spoke. “We get a client or something?”

“Not you, but I do.”

“Oh? Who with?”

“No one. Just me and the client.”

Had he not been groggy, he would have been startled. As things were, he was surprised enough to make a noise of interest. “Look at you, snagged a guy. Be careful.”

“He bought me exclusive.”

That woke him up. “What?” He pushed himself up, eyes wide. “How? Why? Our clients!?”

My explanation did little to calm him. His old nervous habit of chewing his lip took over. “I don’t know, little brother. I don’t know.”

When he got all familial, it was a bad sign. His protective older brother mode was rearing its head, just like when I applied for the military. But just like back then, I knew how to handle him. The best way to pull him out of it was to do it back. 

“Brother, I’ve seen you handle plenty of guys,” I said. “I know what I’m doing. If he does anything wrong, Daiba will kick him out, just like always. Daiba won’t give a damn that he’s royalty.”

Placing a hand to his face, Mamoru shook his head. “A-alright, just be careful. If you need anything, I’ll be right here.”

“You’re such a pouter,” I sighed, striding up to him to take his face in my hands. “I’ll be fine.”

He huffed even as I gently knocked my forehead against his, but he let me go back to my room alone. I went through my usual prep routine without him or anyone else. It felt familiar yet alien because of the silence, broken when the door opened as I was washing my face.

I poked my head out of the bathroom to see Desslar glancing around the room. “Sorry about the decor,” I said. “I hope you like red.”

“I don’t mind it.” He took a seat on my armchair, his legs crossed. The way he placed his elbows on the armrests, the tips of his fingers grazing his cheek, screamed royalty. He must have been used to a throne.

“Do you have any preferences?” I asked as I stepped out. “What you’d like me to call you? How you’d like me to act or respond? Or would you like to just get on with it?”

His smile curled the corners of his lips. “Over here,” he said with a twitch of his head.

Following commands was my specialty, so I stepped in front of him.

“Kneel.”

I should have expected him to want me to act like one of his underlings. As I obeyed, the toe of his boot came up under my chin and tilted my head up. “You’ll call me ‘my lord,’” he said, still with that icy smile.

“Yes, my lord.” It was actually one of the tamer things I’d been asked to call a client. “What can I do for you?”

He hummed in thought, tilting his boot to adjust my head. His own listed in response as he examined me. “Your boss said no bruises, so I’ll need to be careful.” His smile widened to a smirk. “You’ll need to be careful. Do as I say, or I can make things very troubling for you.”

My eyes narrowed a fraction, Clients always thought that they had control, but he was nothing I couldn’t handle. He wasn’t royalty here. He just acted a part like every other client and like every one of us. 

“Yes, my lord.”


	4. The Case of Violet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of weird headcanons about Shep, but he's a good boy. Best boy.

Everyone in the brothel said my skin was an odd color, but I didn’t see it that way. However it looked to them must have been similar to Desslar’s skin, but to me, Desslar was the same gray as everything else. He only gained color when he spoke - splashes of red, purple, and white. I’d never seen someone with such coloring.

Clients tended to have the same colors in their voices - greens usually meshed with the shades of red. When anyone spoke, the colors flooded their form and seeped into the air around them. 

Most of the other brothel workers had unique patterns, though. Susumu was beige and brown, Mamoru orange and yellow, Dick green and blue. Daiba was all reds, though some pink had mixed in lately. The new Tadashi was yellow and red and white and blue, and watching his voice was like a symphony. The old Tadashi, now dubbed Monono, tended toward a baby blue. Manabu had an odd mottling of blue and black that always made me anxious.

Zero had the same coloring after things went wrong.

So had Harlock. They’d both stayed that way for weeks before any trace of their old colors returned, but even now the old colors were faint. Harlock’s voice almost never exuded the loud yellows it did when I first met him.

He was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. The first thing I could remember. His attempt to speak with me was gibberish to my ears. The words were foreign, but the colors that came along with them were familiar. I felt like I knew those swirls, somewhere once far away.

Harlock, though I knew nothing about him at the time, helped me sit up, and I found myself lying on a bed in an extravagant room. There was another man nearby fiddling with something. The two spoke a brief conversation before Harlock took hold of my hand and tried to talk to me once more. I found myself more interested in his hand grasping mine. Though my hand was bandaged, something about the sensation made my head roar with familiarity.

It was then I noted my other hand bandaged as well, restrictive cloth winding up my arm and across my bare chest. Reaching up, I found it on my face and forehead as well. I must have been a mess.

The other man walked over and fit an object, the one he’d been fiddling with, into my ear. When he spoke, the words formed meaning.

“Let’s try that. Can you understand me?” His voice was mostly brown broken by pools of dark blue, different from the reds that appeared when he spoke to Harlock.

For some reason, I knew I was unable to respond aloud, so rather than open my mouth, I nodded. It felt like the appropriate response, a form of confirmation.

“Can you speak?” he asked.

This time I shook my head.

“This is going to be a little difficult then,” Harlock said, a curious mix of orange, yellow, and purple. “My name is Harlock. This is Zero.” He gestured to the other man, who nodded. “Your ship transported here, so damaged it was basically scrap. We weren’t able to salvage much from it, and you were pretty badly injured.”

“I don’t know anything about a race with gold blood,” Zero said, “but with how much you lost, I’m amazed you’re still alive.”

My head listed to the side. It seemed we were of different races, not just different languages. 

“We’re humans, if you didn’t know,” Harlock offered. “Our blood is red, so we were pretty startled when we saw you like that and didn’t have a transfusion available. Luckily we have a sexaroid who was able to make enough sense of your anatomy to hold you together. Your wounds were largely superficial, likely caused by shrapnel. Whatever you had a fight with, you probably lost.”

“He did come out alive, so that’s something,” Zero said.

Another human knocked and entered the room with more bandages in hand. I later learned that humans could identify themselves in varying ways, and this one expressed “woman” rather than “man.” The variation in the translator took me by surprise at first, but I grew to a base understanding over time. Humans had a variety of identities. All the same but all different.

“Oh, he’s awake,” she said in flashes of yellow and orange as she pushed the tray into Zero’s hands. “How are you feeling?” she asked me.

I offered a smile in answer. Nothing hurt, so I felt content. Confused and lost but content.

“He can’t talk,” Harlock said.

“Have you tried giving him something to write on?” she asked. The two men looked at each other, and she rolled her eyes. “His race may not have a written language system, but it’s worth a shot.”

Perhaps women were the smarter variety of human. I was unsure, as I only met a few in my time at the brothel. She introduced herself as Kei and wrote it in some strange, flowing symbols on a square of what I later learned was paper. Harlock wrote his name as well, though the symbols were entirely different, several simple ones in a row. Zero wrote his name the same way, but his writing curved and flowed where Harlock’s drew to points.

When they handed the paper to me, I realized I didn’t know my name, but writing I could grasp. They peered at the paper with eager eyes as I sketched out a message. “I do not remember my name. I do not remember anything. Thank you for helping me.”

When I handed the paper back to them, they all frowned at it. Zero used some small device to scan it. His brows pinched as he looked at the device. “Whatever the language is, it’s not showing up in records. Decoding it may take some time.”

“It looks kind of like sheet music,” Kei said, tilting the paper and her head.

What followed was several hours of gesturing and doodling and yes or no questions, until I was finally able to convey my lack of memories to them. Zero suggested they turn me over to some sort of authority figure, but Harlock’s voice swirled with colors at the idea. “We don’t know who attacked him,” he said. “It’s not safe to turn him over to anyone right now.”

Zero’s voice dipped in hue. “Harlock, we know nothing about him. It’s possible…”

“You’re honestly going to look me in the eye and tell me you think he’s dangerous?”

I hoped they didn’t think that. I would never wish any harm to them or anyone else. Zero must have sensed that, as he sighed and shook his head. “Regardless, we can’t keep him at a brothel.”

“Sure we can,” Harlock said. “He can work here once he’s better.”

Zero’s eyes went wide. His whole body tensed.

Harlock threw his hands up. “Not as a whore! Just as a helper or something! Just so he can make some money!”

Despite Zero’s reservations and my own confusion of human customs, I became the new helper. They called me “Guitar Ship” for a while. Apparently my now-ruined craft looked like something called a guitar, but that was shortened to “Ship” almost instantly, and that was steadily slurred to “Shep,” which stuck.

But once I realized what the brothel business entailed, it became clear to me that I was better suited to being one of the whores than attempting to help cook or fix anything. More often than not, that resulted in a bigger mess.

Harlock did not approve of the idea one bit once I finally managed to explain my goal. “Shep, I appreciate your enthusiasm,” he said, though his voice became distressingly pink. “But it’s just… the anatomy… you don’t… it’s not…”

Before he could become more anxious, I offered my hand. “Hm, what is it?” he asked. Part of him seemed to understand, though, because he placed his hand in mine. I’d figured it out once the bandages came off, why a physical connection gave me such a rush. I knew what I could do.

I knew what Harlock wanted.

In a blink, the office around us became a bedroom I’d never seen, though it was all an illusion, like a dream - Harlock’s dream. Because I made the dream in the image of his views and desires, I saw color as he did. But I wasn’t part of what he wanted.

Harlock’s eye was wide with confusion and surprise as he spun to look around the room. His clothes had changed as well into some sort of odd pirate getup. 

“What is this?” he asked. “What’s going on? Shep?” But when he turned back, I was not myself. I was the person he desired. “Zero?” he choked.

“Relax, Harlock,” the Zero of his dreams said, placing his hand to Harlock’s cheek and leaning in close. “Isn’t this what you want?”

“No.” Harlock placed his hand to Zero’s chest. “This isn’t real. Enough, Shep.”

The dream shattered as Harlock came back to himself and tore his hand from mine.

Of all the times I wished I could speak, that was the greatest. I’d wanted to make Harlock happy, to give him what he wanted, but his shoulders were taut, his hand slapped over his mouth. Despite my intentions, I’d hurt him.

Harlock jolted as I fell to my knees in front of him. I had to apologize somehow. All I had were my actions, so I bowed my head. If he wished to hit me, I would take it.

Instead of a blow, Harlock breathed a laugh. I peered up to find him kneeling in front of me. His smile seemed forced, his eye worn, but his words weren’t far from their usual shades. “Sorry, you just startled me. Remember, our rule is absolute consent. I know it’s hard for you but you need some sort of affirmation before making a move on anyone. I don’t want…” He shook his head. “So you can manipulate people’s minds?”

I nodded. That description sounded crueler than I liked, but it wasn’t incorrect.

“I can understand how that would make you a good worker, but if you’re able to access clients’ ideals like that…” His gaze drifted toward the wall. “You might see some disturbing things. I wouldn’t want you to be under that kind of stress.”

I couldn’t understand why he was concerned for me. He should have been upset. He shouldn’t have been the one to apologize to me.

But that was just like him, always more worried about us than himself. Even after I was able to show him that I wouldn’t allow clients any dreams that broke the brothel’s rules, he checked up on me after every new client.

And after what happened to Zero, he sat by the locked door of Zero’s room for endless hours, murmuring apologies in that black and blue voice. Apologizing for something he couldn’t have predicted or controlled, just like with me.

But things got better. Colors returned. Daiba appeared with all his fires of red and Mamoru with his blinding oranges and yellows. Mamoru in-particular I could always see coming. He was always talking, so vibrant his color bled all over. It was infectious in a way.

“Shep,” he whined as he dropped into my lap where his brother had been not long before. “I lost most of my clients. Give me some of yours.”

I patted his cheek, uncertain what he was talking about. He didn’t seem too upset, so it must not have been a big deal.  

“What did you do?” Zero asked. “And who said you could come out of timeout?”

“I didn’t do anything. Some guy bought my brother exclusive, and he’s paying for all those clients I would have had, but now I’m going to have all this free time. I’m gonna be so bored!”

Manabu appeared as well, having tiptoed down the stairs when Zero wasn’t looking. He clambered over the back of the armchair Zero sat in, forcing Zero to scooch over and make enough room for Manabu to squeeze in next to him. “What?” Manabu cawed. “Susumu got a client to himself? Aw, I could have taken the client.”

With a worn smile, Zero ruffled Manabu’s hair. “Maybe next time. How about we have Monono make us some tea right now and just relax instead?”

Zero, Dick, and I had clients scheduled for Monday night, so this was our last chance to relax until then, but the reality was that Manabu could be soothed by horrible, bitter tea no matter how upset he got. Zero was just playing that to his advantage. He sent Tadashi to let Monono know of our request.

“So is Harlock going to be the one to let most of my clients know they can’t have their incest kink fulfilled anymore?” Mamoru asked. “Because I’m not dealing with that.”

A new voice with the same colors flashed from the entryway. “Can’t I have two seconds of being here without you saying something gross?” Kei called as she strode in. Her travel bag slid from her shoulder and hit the ground with a thunk. Whatever was in there sounded heavy.

“Kei, is that the equipment we sent you to get?” Zero asked, frowning at the bag. “Please be careful with it.”

“Don’t worry. I have it padded,” she said. “Anything interesting happen while I was gone?”

“Daiba got a brother,” Mamoru said.

“More brothers? Jeez, don’t we have enough?”

Tadashi popped back out of the kitchen with a bag of chips he was eating by the handful. “He’s makin’ the tea,” he said through his munching. “Who’s that?”

Kei stared at him for a stretch, a deep frown forming along her features. “Did Harlock pick out that maid outfit?” she asked at length. “It’s pretty cheap looking. We have to get him a different one.”

“I picked it out!” Tadashi squeaked. “It wasn’t cheap!”

Kei put her hands on her hips. “Well, it looks like a costume. Don’t worry. I’ll get you a better one.”

“Anyway,” Zero called over them. “Kei, this is our new maid Tadashi Daiba. Tadashi this is our other bodyguard, Kei Yuki.”

“Daiba and his brother have the same name?” Kei muttered. “Well, anyway, nice to meet you, Tadashi. I’m going to go put my stuff down and wash up. Don’t be gross while I’m gone, guys.”

She scooped up the bag and headed upstairs. She must have spotted Daiba on the way because the red of him barking spilled out from the upstairs hall.

Our tea arrived shortly, while Mamoru continued to whine, and Manabu lounged against Zero. Zero was the only one Harlock would allow Manabu to get close to to ensure no one got too handsy.

“My client should be here soon,” Zero said after he finished his tea. “I’m going to go ahead and get ready. You should too, Shep.”

I nodded as Mamoru and Manabu began pouting. I would have given them some of my clients if I could. I had no use for the money Harlock gave me. He said if I ever remembered where I came from I could use the funds to buy a new ship and return, but I was content with my home.

After stretching out my legs, half-asleep from Mamoru lying over them, I headed for the stairs. As I reached the base of them, Desslar turned the corner at the top. His expression was plain, his eyes straight ahead. We walked on opposite sides going opposite ways, but when he reached the same step as me, he paused.

“You’re not Gamilan, are you?” He sounded as though he already knew the answer, and his words were now far more red and purple tinged with black.

I shook my head. I wasn’t certain what I was, but I felt we weren’t the same.

“Strange,” he said. “I feel like we’ve met.” He continued down without another glance, so I ripped my eyes from him and hurried upstairs. Passing my room, I knocked at Susumu’s. 

“Coming,” came the muffled response through the door. We didn’t lock our doors unless we had clients, yet I heard the bolt snap out of place. I tried to keep myself from looking too anxious as he opened the door. “Oh, Shep.” He smiled, but his words were all wrong, all black and mottled with blue. I couldn’t help but let my expression twist with concern. Something was wrong.

“Did you come to check on me?” he asked. “Everything went fine, so don’t look all worried. He was pretty easy to take care of, honestly.”

But the colors were wrong. It was like an infection had spread to him, the same one that claimed Zero, Harlock, and Manabu, the one that made them stare off at nothing with heavy, worn eyes. I took Susumu’s face in my hands, trying to speak with my eyes, begging him to tell me what was wrong.

He simply looked confused. “Shep, it’s alright. Everything went fine. Don’t you have a client soon? You should get ready for them.”

I so desperately wished for a voice, but all I could do was press my forehead to his. “Shep,” he sighed, drowning in that horrible blackened blue. “I’m exclusive now. You’re not allowed to touch me.”

I had no proof, no voice, no understanding, so I let him go to take care of my client instead. No one else seemed to notice anything amiss. The next morning Susumu smiled and laughed along with the rest of us. But that hue remained in his voice, and when he thought no one was looking, I saw his gaze grow distant, glazed with pain as he lost himself in that horrible color.

I would not allow it to infect anyone else in my home, in my family. I would free them from it.


	5. The Case of Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the "Everyone wants in Manabu's pants" chapter.

Bulge was the first to show up.

Kicking his feet up on his desk, Uncle Phantom crossed his arms, and stared down Bulge the same way my dad stared down me. My dad and uncle were more alike than they would ever admit.

“You can’t be alone with one of my boys without paying,” Uncle said. “And you can’t be alone with Manabu in particular unless you’re buying him for the night. This brothel has a reputation to uphold, Schwanhelt.”

Bulge threw his hands up with a huff of frustration. “Great skies, I’m not going to do anything, Harlock. The captain just sent me to check on Manabu. How insane would I have to be to try anything like that?”

Uncle’s head tilted slightly. “But you’d be interested if my brother weren’t breathing down your neck?”

Bulge’s face flooded pink, and he was left fumbling for a response. His brows raised, Uncle’s eye flicked to me. They’d been bickering for several minutes while I sat in the lounge chair across the room, kicking my feet in silence. I wasn’t sure why Bulge needed to be alone with me to talk. Maybe he was suspicious of Uncle. It didn’t matter. If my dad had sent him, I knew what he was going to say.

“Regardless,” Uncle said, cutting off Bulge’s stuttering. “I’m advertising Manabu as a virgin, and that gives him quite the price tag. It doesn’t look good if he’s off alone with other men.”

I wasn’t sure how Uncle managed to say things like that so straight-faced to clients, or Bulge for that matter, when he became a red-faced, blubbering mess when he’d interviewed me for the job.

It had been an entertaining evening though.

“So what are your thoughts on…toys?” he’d asked, one hand covering half of his face to avoid looking at me.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never really used one. I’d be interested. Dick has a bunch, doesn’t he?”

Uncle made a noise like a suffering whale. “We’ll worry about that later then. What about…group sex?”

I kicked my feet, smiling all the while. I’d never seen Uncle so stressed. I shouldn’t have found it so entertaining. “Sounds fine,” I said.

His other hand came up to cover the rest of his face. “W-would you be open to…double p-penetration?”

I broke into a grin. “I think you have to be pretty open for that.”

His face hit the desk’s surface as I burst into laughter. He remained there for a while, unmoving, until he dragged himself up and left the room. Susumu and Mamoru strode in to take his place at the computer, and the questions resumed with a professional ease. Susumu did end up having to shoo Mamoru out after he kept offering to teach me anything I didn’t know.

I didn’t see Uncle again until the next morning. He didn’t look like he’d slept very well.

I guess it was kind of weird for him. He’d visited often when Mamoru and I were growing up, but I hadn’t seen him at all for five years. Last he’d seen me before I came looking for a job, I was fifteen. He probably still thought of me like that sometimes. Dad still thought of me like a little, doe-eyed kid. Always had. Always would.

I wasn’t sure how Bulge saw me. He’d known me since I was pretty young, and Dad had partnered me with him on any dangerous missions. Dad had always trusted Bulge to look after me, so that must have been why he was here now.

“It’s not like you need to go around advertising that I had a quick talk with Manabu,” he hissed.

I hadn’t actually seen Bulge since I left the SDF. In fact, I hadn’t seen much of him since my last mission. Kind of weird that Dad would send him, but I guess this was his way of getting around me not wanting to see him. At least he was respecting my wish to some extent.

“Just talk to me with him in here,” I called, tired of their arguing. “I know it’s been a while, but I’m under lock and key, so you’ve got to deal with Uncle Phantom for now.”

Uncle shrugged to show how little remorse he felt.

My word must have been enough because the argument ended there. As he turned to me,  Bulge’s shoulders drooped. Every time his eyes met mine, he’d glance away. My stomach started tying itself in knots. He hadn’t said a word to me since he arrived, and it was becoming apparent that he was only doing this out of respect for my dad. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to see me.

Still refusing to look at me, Bulge rubbed at the back of his neck. “Ah, your father just wanted me to check in on you. He wants you to know that you’re welcome to rejoin the SDF at any time.”

I was sure he’d watered down whatever lines Dad had given to him. “I’m under a contract,” I said. I’d had this conversation with Dad enough times. I didn’t need to have it with Bulge too. “But it’s nice to see you. I don’t get a lot of visitors, no clients or anything. You’re welcome to stop by anytime.”

Sure, having him as a visitor was fine, but I wouldn’t have minded having him as a client. Straight-laced as he was, it would never happen, but I’d always had a bit of a crush on Bulge. Anytime he came with Dad to visit when I was younger, I’d try to keep his attention the entire time.

But I had just as much of a chance to catch his eye now as I did back then. “I-I’ll do my best, Manabu,” he said. He was being so obvious about his discomfort with me that even Uncle was starting to look concerned. 

“Are you doing alright?” Bulge asked.

“I’m fine. How is everyone in the platoon doing?”

“Fair enough. Our missions have all gone well. Everyone’s fine. So,” He swallowed. “Are you doing alright with your… I mean, you seem to be handling yourself fine. I’m sorry. I guess this isn’t-”

“They’re fine, Bulge,” I said, tugging off my right glove to show him the prosthetic. I flexed the robotic joints a few times with ease. “I’ve gotten pretty used to it. Doesn’t bother me anymore.”

Looking down at my hand made him cringe, but he didn’t look away. “Sorry,” he murmured. I’m sorry. If I’d just…” He shook his head. “I need to get back in case we get called out. Take care, Manabu.”

He darted out the door without waiting for me to say goodbye in return. The sound of the door closing behind him seemed to rip all the strength from my body. My forehead dropped to my knees. “He’s all grossed out by me,” I groaned.

“I’m not sure what he is, but I don’t think that’s it,” Uncle said from somewhere nearby. His hand came to rest on my shoulder. “I think being cooped up with nothing to do is stressing you out a bit.”

“You should give me a client,” I muttered.

“I’m working on it. In the meantime, you’re welcome to invite over a friend or go out with the other boys on your off day. Didn’t you have that friend from the rehabilitation group you went to? You kept talking about him.”

I turned my head to the side so he could see my smile. “Yeah, I could probably see if he’s free to visit. He’d get a kick out of that. I just… I do miss my platoon, and I know they’re busy, and it’s weird to meet someone at a brothel, but it’s like they want nothing to do with me anymore.”

Uncle took a seat at my side and patted my back. “Do you regret leaving?”

“Do you regret leaving your ship?” I asked.

He didn’t flinch. “Sometimes.”

Sitting up, I fell once again to lean against his shoulder. “Yeah,” I said. “Me too. But I don’t want to go back.”

“But do you want to be here?” he asked. “As much as I support anything that pisses off your father, you shouldn’t work here unless you really want to.”

“I do want to. I mean, I do also want to piss him off, but mostly I just wanted to get away from him. I wanted him to stop treating me like a baby, but it didn’t really work. I also do want to get laid, so it’s not just rebellion if that helps.”

He broke into a laugh that made his shoulders bounce along with my head resting on them. “Well, you’ve got more of a reason than I did at your age, so I guess that’s something. Go run along and get in touch with your friend and drink some tea or whatever it is you do.”

“I mostly just lie around bored.” But I stood and went to send an invitation. Anyone else might have found it odd to get an invite to a brothel, but he wouldn’t think twice about it.

Bruce appeared second.

He walked through the front door, frowning at everything, but he plopped down on the main sofa across from me. “Hey, Yuuki, your dad sent me,” he said, sounding less thrilled than Bulge to be there. At least he would look at me.

“So is this going to be like a bi-weekly thing?” I asked. Destiny station wasn’t too far away by the right trains, and Sirius often worked out of the nearby station, but it was still an out-of-the-way trip.

He shrugged. “Figured I’d come see this place. I hear about it all the time. It sure has that rich snob aesthetic going for it.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of all a front though. It’s just flashy for the clients.”

Bruce’s brows rose, but I wasn’t sure if he was impressed or irritated. Though I’d never learned to read him, guessing he was angry was the safer bet. We were actually assigned as partners when I joined Sirius, but by the higher-ups and not Dad. 

Dad liked Bruce from what I could tell, all claps on the shoulder and compliments to his impressive aim. But when it came to Bruce being my partner, Dad clammed up. He was always telling Bruce to keep an eye on me or sticking me with Bulge instead. I couldn’t blame Bruce for the way his lips would twitch toward a snarl every time Dad talked down to him because of me. It always pissed me off too.

“So what’s with your angry dog?” Bruce asked, cocking a thumb over his shoulder toward Daiba. “He’s been glaring at me since I came in.”

“Yeah, he does that,” I said. “He’s our bodyguard.”

“Awfully small for that, isn’t he?”

Daiba’s eyes were like a rabid dog’s. “Should I throw him out, Manabu? I can do it.”

As much as Bruce was asking for it, I shooed Daiba away. “It’s alright. I can handle it.”

Bruce stared on in some mix of surprise and confusion as Daiba slinked off with an actual growl. “He is your dog,” Bruce said.

“Yeah, we love him. So how’s work?”

“Fun,” he drawled. “The captain’s been moody since he came back from here, so we’ve all been trying not to piss him off.”

I huffed and stomped my foot before I realized how childish I looked. “Sorry, but I’m not going to talk to him again until he calms down.”

“I don’t blame you,” he said with a shrug. “You can’t control your dad. The only person who I’ve ever seen talk him down from anything was Kanna.”

“Oh yeah, Mom can be scary. She can shut him up with just a look.” Truthfully, she could do that to me too.

Bruce stretched his arms up and dropped them to rest across the back of the couch. Most first-time clients or visitors were stiff like they’d been frozen through, but he showed no signs of discomfort. Though when I thought about it, maybe this wasn’t his first time at a brothel.

“There was a whole message I was supposed to deliver, but I forgot most of it,” he said. “The gist was that your dad wants you to quit working here. I’m sure you’ve heard this before.”

My chin dropped into my palm. “I have.”

It seemed that was the end of it because he took to glancing around the room again. “So are there complementary snacks or something?”

“Only for paying customers.”

He blinked and stared at me for a moment. I still couldn’t read his expression. “Is that a come-on?” he asked,

It was my turn for my face to burn. There was no way to play it off with my reddened cheeks giving me away, but dammit if I wasn’t going to try. “I-if you want it to be.”

He snorted. “Please, you dad gives me a hard enough time as things are. I like my head attached, thank you.”

I couldn’t keep eye contact, but I couldn’t give up so easily. Flirting was half my job. “But wouldn’t it be fun to get back at my dad for all those times he’s pissed you off?”

I was not good at my job.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw him stand and walk up to me. “Getting back at someone by sleeping with their kid isn’t my style.” His fingers pressed up under my chin to tilt my face up toward his. Even as I drowned in the endless blue of his eyes, the fire in my face didn’t let up. His smirk had my heart hammering.  “Besides, you’re way above my pay grade.”

“Hey!” Daiba barked from whatever shadowy corner he’d crawled in to sulk. “No touching!”

Bruce jerked back and held his hands up in surrender. To keep myself from getting onto Daiba, I cut my teeth into my tongue.. He was right, after all. Bruce wasn’t allowed to get close if he didn’t pay first.  

“So is no one else available?” Bruce asked as he lowered his hands to shove them in his pockets.

“Everyone but Zero has a client,” I huffed. “And you wouldn’t be able to get with Zero.”

Bruce frowned. “Ouch.”

Coursing with disappointment, I fell over to lie along the couch. “Zero only accepts like one out of a hundred clients. Don’t feel bad. You should pick me instead. My dad doesn’t have to know.”

One of those rare, genuine smiles flashed across his face for an instant. My heart  missed a beat. “Sorry, Yuuki,” he said. “Your dad knows everything, and so does your brother.”

As though summoned by my wince at the idea of him, my brother showed up that Sunday.

“Manabu!” he greeted as he shoved past Daiba to get through the door. I was tackled in a hug while Daiba spat and growled. “You haven’t talked to me in ages!” Mamoru whined. “You don’t call or visit!”

The rest of the guys looked on from around the room as my breathing began to pick up. I focused on gasping for air to keep my vision from blurring. Uncle was nice enough to snap from the top of the stairs, “Hey, no touching!”

My brother’s mood changed like a flip of a switch. His eyes narrowed as he challenged our Uncle. “He’s my brother!”

Uncle was the wrong person to challenge to a glaring match. “I have enough brothers here to know better than to let them get handsy.”

With a scoff, Mamoru’s nose wrinkled in disgust, though his eyes darted away. “Your brother works here, Uncle Phantom.”

“And I don’t trust him either. Now hands off.”

Though he looked like he wanted to fight the floor he kept glaring at, Mamoru freed me from his death grip and the vice on my trilling heart let up.

“I have a friend coming over,” I said as I regained my breath. “You should have told me you were coming.”

“You’d have told me not to come,” he grumbled. “And what friend? You never invite me over.”

I couldn’t imagine why. “He’s my friend from rehabilitation. I know you’re just here because Dad told you to try to get me to quit and go back to the SDF, so you can go ahead and leave. Tell him I said no.”

Every time I tried to turn away, he stepped in front of me again. “What happened?” he demanded. “You used to follow me around like a duckling, used to say how we were going to get married. Why are you trying so hard to avoid me?”

My shoulders scrunched up by my ears, burning red with a blush. “I was a little kid! I’ve grown up since you joined the SPG! You can’t treat me the same as you did when I left just because we didn’t see each other much. I’m not ten anymore.”

“You don’t act much different,” he said. “Still get all rebellious when you don’t get your way. You don’t need to be here just to get back at Dad. This is crazy. Just come back with me. You don’t have to rejoin the SDF. Hell, you don’t have to see Dad. You can come live with me. I’ll take care of you.” His hands latched onto my shoulders, and he got that desperate look in his eyes, like a starving man. He’d been looking at me that way more and more every time I saw him. He was too damn protective. He’d always been that way.

That was Dad’s fault too.

“Take care of your brother,” he’d said to Mamoru after coming home to find me with a broken arm. I’d taken a tumble down one of the cliffs overlooking the mines, and my face was covered in scrapes. I’d never forget the way Dad’s eyes lit up with fear when he saw the ugly scabs across my cheek and chin.

“Keep an eye on him,” Dad said. “He’s a bit of a danger magnet.”

Mamoru took any command from Dad to heart, and so did I. “Stick with your brother, son,” he told me. “He’ll look after you.”

At first, I willingly trailed after him like an eager puppy. He’d extend a hand to me, and I’d take it to let him lead me wherever he wanted to go. I was content to let him carry me or to sleep next to him. The women in town thought it was adorable, cooed about how we were “little boyfriends.” I don’t think they realized we were related with how different we looked. It didn’t seem weird at the time, so we didn’t correct them.

But I grew out of that. 

Mamoru didn’t. 

I learned to sneak away on my own so he didn’t grab me and drag me off where we were supposed to go. I loved my brother, but until the day he left for the SPG, I was fighting to get out from under his shadow. Now, it seemed like he wanted to put me back in it.

Before I could wrench free of his grip, the other Mamoru - Kodai - ripped my brother’s hand off my shoulder. “Yuuki,” Kodai said with a dangerous sort of smile I’d never seen him wear. “Come here. Let me have a quick talk with you.”

“I have nothing to discuss with you,” Brother said. “Let go of me.”

“Well that’s too bad because I have so much to say to you. Come here.”

Despite Brother’s protests, no one said a word as Kodai dragged him off toward the laundry room. Uncle and Daiba pointedly looked away. Zero frowned at the book I doubted he was reading. Susumu was the only one looking at me. His eyes were sharp with the desire to say something. He stood and opened his mouth.

The sound of the giant front door slamming open stopped him. “Mana! I made it!” came the screech that could have only come from Ichiro. He stood in the open doorway with his hands on his hips and the smirk of a devil splayed across his face. His hair was fiery orange, his eyes redder than Susumu’s vest. I wasn’t sure if his eyes were naturally that color or if it was part of his augmentation. Actually, I didn’t know much about him, but he could cheer me up better than anyone. “How have you been!?” he demanded.

“Alright,” I answered with a laugh. “I think you almost gave everyone a heart attack.”

They all looked on with wide eyes as he kicked the door shut behind him. “Oh, hi!” He stuck up a hand in greeting. “I’m Ichiro Haya.”

They took turns muttering greetings along with their names. They needn’t have bothered. Ichiro couldn’t remember any name but his own. “Nice to meet you,” he said regardless. Without waiting for them to respond, he slid up to me, frays of his messy hair curling around his grin. “Wow, this place is nice, Mana. So you’re a whore? That’s neat.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t had any clients. I’m still touted as the virgin, but no one’s biting.”

He nodded as though deep in thought. “I could sleep with you if you want, but I’ve never done it either.”

I burst into a laugh, though he seemed dead serious. “That’s okay, Ichiro. I appreciate the offer, though.”

“Okay, but if there’s anyone you want to sleep with, let me know, and I’ll snag them for you.”

“That’s not really…” There was no point in arguing with him, so I gave up without a fight. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

I’d hated the rehabilitation, hated the prosthetics, hated the panic attacks that hit me anytime I felt closed in. But Ichiro was the ever-shining sun in my self-imposed night. While everyone else treated me like a fragile doll, he’d come up and slug me in the arm or demand I go with him to get lunch. It was easy to fall for him. I thought it was love for a while, but looking back, it was more like dependence.

Besides, I wasn’t sure Ichiro was the sort interested in romance. When my curiosity got the better of me and I asked him his preferences, he thought about it for a minute before shrugging. “I dunno,” he said. “I’ve never had sex, so I can’t write it off, but I don’t care much about it. I’ve never dated anyone either. I don’t really get it. Is it just like friendship but you hold hands or something? What’s the point?”

That pretty well threw my crush out the window.  

“So your arm and leg been treating you well?” he asked in the nonchalant manner Bulge couldn’t manage.

“Yeah, I hardly notice a difference anymore,” I lied. I had no room to complain to him. Most of his body was in-organic.

His voice lowered enough to hide our conversation from everyone nearby, though I was sure they were still listening. “Panic attacks still been hitting you?”

“Not so bad now,” I breathed more than said. “Mostly just nightmares.”

He nodded, though his brows were pinched. “I don’t know much about sex, but are you going to be okay if a guy pins you?”

“I don’t know.”

Harlock had asked the same thing. It was the first question out of his mouth during the interview, the only one he hadn’t stuttered on. I hoped I could handle it. My first client didn’t need to deal with me hyperventilating before they’d even gotten a scrap of clothing off.

But I couldn’t even sleep with blankets covering me. I’d dream I was back under all that weight, pain like razor wire cutting up my arm from the inside. I’d dream I was inhaling nothing but dirt and exhaling a steady stream of blood. My weak screams for help always woke me up.

I was desperate for contact after so long without it, but I was equally terrified of it. The moment I felt trapped, I went back to that last mission. I heard the screech of the beams collapsing and Bulge screaming my name.

Ichiro broke the rules by taking my hand in his. No one stopped him. “Don’t be hard on yourself,” he said. “I still have the nightmares and attacks too, but you’re strong, and it gets easier to handle.”

I wished my dad and brother would see it like that. I wished they would stop coddling me. All I needed was to hear that from them.

“You can do it, Mana,” Ichiro continued. “Don’t you worry. We’ll get you laid.”

Didn’t really need to hear that bit from them though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ichiro is a real character from a Pachinko game Leiji did the story/designs for. I just think he's a cute cyborg boy so I put him in because no one can stop me.


	6. The Case of Green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I know no one cares about Dikku Coyne but me, but I tried to make it worth it if you stick to the end.

We had a mail day once a week. Kei went to our box on-planet, scanned for anything explosive or toxic, and brought back a bag of whatever she didn’t need to destroy as a precaution.

Harlock got the occasional letter, though I never saw him open them. Zero got the most mail out of all of us and always looked confused by his stack of letters and boxes. Daiba, Monono, Shep, and the Kodais got nothing. At least, Susumu used to get nothing. This time Kei came back with a box from his client. Susumu looked at it like it might rear back and bite him.

Usually I was the only one getting weird things from clients. Kei always used her foot to push the boxes my way, her nose wrinkled. The only thing she handed to me was the occasional letter with the worst chicken scratch scrawled across the front.

“What’s that?” Tadashi asked as I tore open my latest one. “Did someone actually hand-write you a letter? I’ve never seen a hand-written letter.”

“Only rich sorts on my planet have any sort of useful tech,” I said. “Since it’s a desert planet, everything gets clogged with sand unless we make it right.”

“You’re from a desert planet? That sounds rough.”

Unfolding the paper sent dirt spilling out. The words were all smudged, many misspelled, but he was getting better. “You get used to it,” I said. “What sort of place did you grow up?”

“Oh, I uh, I grew up with my brother.” His eyes screamed for help as he pointed toward Daiba. I would have expected them to corroborate their story a little better.

“Yeah? Where was that?” I didn’t care, but it was funny to watch him go wide-eyed with panic. None of us would have cared about whatever he was trying to hide, so I wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. A fifteen year-old couldn’t have anything that serious under his belt. Even if he did somehow, Harlock wouldn’t have let him stay.

Still, it didn’t matter, so I let him off the hook. “I just can’t believe all these guys letting their little brothers work here. It’s just absurd,” I said as I plopped down on the couch to properly read the letter. Parts of it were like trying to decipher a code.

Tadashi’s white-knuckle grip released from the hem of his dress when he realized he was safe. “Didn’t…your older brother let you work here?” he asked.

“Harlock’s not really my brother,” I said.

He got the message that time and shuffled away to get the broom for all the dirt I’d trailed onto the floor. Before I could get too far into my letter, though, Daiba leaned over the back of the couch, all glares and growls. “Dick, are you being mean to my brother?”  

“I would never,” I said as I reached up and patted his cheek. No matter how hard he tried to scare me, I always found Daiba cute. Sure, his bite was as bad as his bark, but he would never hurt one of us.

Except me. He might hurt me.

I had to pull my hand away to keep him from biting off my fingers. “Don’t be an ass!” he snapped. “And don’t talk to him! Don’t look at him!” His eyes narrowed. “Don’t think about him.”

“I’m sure you think about him enough for all of us,” I said.

He didn’t budge. His face remained a stony mask of anger, but his cheeks did tinge pink. The longer he glared at me, the more the color infected his ears too. “Cute,” I said.

Throwing myself toward the ground was the only way to avoid the punch that came barreling toward me. “I’ll kick your ass!” he screeched. “Get back here!”

Once I rolled out of his reach and regained my footing, I dashed for the stairs. I’d learned how to run from all the times I was caught pickpocketing, and his short legs didn’t stand a chance. “Love you, Daiba!” I called as I raced up the stairs two at a time. “Keep up the good work.”

He let out a yowl like a cat drenched with water, but I’d already made it to my room. The walls of all our rooms were soundproof, so if he was still screaming, I couldn’t hear it. My comforter flared up around me as I flopped into bed. Tadashi must have washed it because it smelled of dryer sheets - ideal for burying my nose in as I read the letter.

As usual, things back home hadn’t changed much, but that was what I liked most about the letters. The little stories of daily life peppered throughout brought me back to that planet full of sand and groaning machinery. I’d been so accustomed to a world with endless pulses of heat during the day and bone-chilling cold at night that the first time I ever felt a/c was on the train out.

I had to ask the conductor what it was.

We saved for months to get me that train ticket, all in hopes that I could get a job that would get my brother out as well, get him as far away as possible from that wasteland. I’d told him I was going to be a mechanic, and in every letter since I’d left I told him about all the imaginary things I was fixing, all the ships and trains. Like I could ever make the kind of money I sent him from a job like that.

As I reread “Love, Sam,” for the tenth time, someone knocked at my door. “Yeah?” I called.

“Dick, I’ve got a couple new client applications for you.”

I poked my head out into the hall to find Harlock standing there with his arms crossed. Daiba didn’t seem to be hiding anywhere in preparation to jump me, but Harlock must have heard the screaming.

“Try not to antagonize Daiba,” he said. “You’re lucky Tadashi was there to calm him down.”

“Someone can actually calm Daiba down?” I gave a low whistle. “That maid kid’s magic. So let me see these new clients. Are they attractive at all?”

“Well, one of them isn’t human if that piques your interest at all.” He handed me a tablet with all the info he’d dug up on them.   

I always felt too aware of myself when near Harlock. It made me want to back away, to put space between us. He was taller, more broad-shouldered, and his eye was the deep brown of old rust. Other than that, though, we looked identical.

There was no denying that we were related. I’d known it from the moment I laid eyes on him.

All the gusto I had upon storming into his office and demanding a job vanished when he raised his head. He stared at me the same way I stared back - his eye filled with confusion and denial.

I’d seen the wanted posters. I knew about my father - not that the man ever deserved to be called that - but I never expected to run into any relatives on his side. The Harlocks were all fabled pirates. They weren’t real. They especially did not run brothels on suspicious, unmarked satellites.

“Alright,” Harlock said once he regained enough of his composure. “You…you want a job. I am hiring prostitutes, but that’s, um- You understand what this work entails-”

“I can handle anything,” I said, struggling to keep my eyes locked on his. I wasn’t opposed to begging. My pride had never been that great, but dammit, begging this bastard for anything was a blow to the gut. “I need the money. Please.”

“Sit down.” He gestured to the chair in front of his desk with one hand while the other rubbed harshly at his face. “I won’t be able to just ignore this, so about your father-”

“If you have to know, he was the former Captain Harlock,” I said, dropping into the chair. “I was an accident though. I never met him, and I doubt he knew about me. I didn’t know I would run into you here either if you were wondering about that.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “My father wasn’t the best, but… I know he would have wanted to help you had he known. If all you need is money-”

“I need a job.”

“I can get you something else-”

“This is all I know how to do.”

I only knew the old mechanics of my home planet. Even the tech of the train that brought me was far from my reach. But I’d slept around for money before. It didn’t take much brainpower to figure out sex. Whatever it took to get Sam a better life was worth it.

Harlock looked like he’d aged a few years since I showed up. “Alright,” he said. “I’ll take you on as a prostitute, but if you want to take any classes or need any means to learn a new profession, I will help you. I understand if you want nothing to do with me as family, but as your boss, let me help.”

I should have counted my blessings that he gave me a job. Should have thanked him and walked out. Too bad my temper was stronger than reason. “I don’t need your pity or your guilt, and I certainly don’t need you as family.”

He breathed a sigh through his nose before speaking slow and quiet. “I understand. I won’t force you to consider me or anyone else family.”

That took the wind out of my sails. If there were more than just him, it would be hard to ignore everyone.

“But,” he continued. “Look past your pride for a moment. You can’t be a whore forever.”

He was right. He was always right, dammit. He was right when I insisted on taking clients he’d voted against, right when he told me I had no chance of denying Manabu as family with that kid’s puppy-dog eyes, right about needing the stack of textbooks in the corner of my room, even if I mostly just used the information in them to send lies to my little brother.

Harlock and I were related, but we weren’t family. I’d stubbornly held onto that even after all he’d done for me. I knew it wasn’t fair to direct my grudge against his father onto him. Dammit, if I’d gotten to meet his father, I could have been mad at him instead, but the bastard had to go get himself killed.

If only the man’s brother could have shared the same fate.

“Hey, Phantom! Dick!”

We both went taught as a noose at the yell from downstairs.

“Uncle Franklin, we’re closed!” Harlock yelled back. “It’s Sunday, and past eight at that! What are you doing here?”

“Just came to say hi.”

Despite knowing better, we both shuffled to the end of the hall to see him in those old, dusty boots and wide-brimmed hat. It was a wonder he could see out from under it. He had a scar on each cheek as though to outdo everyone else in the family. Harlock had done his best to hide me from his uncle, but curiosity got the better of me, and the man spotted me when I tried to sneak a glimpse at him. I should have anticipated a keen eye from a sharp-shooter. Despite all my rage-fueled attempts, I could not convince him I wasn’t part of the family tree.

He flopped onto one of the couches, which made Tadashi look ready to faint. The man had tracked in enough dirt to make a farm, and now the couch wore half of it. “Any leftovers hanging around?” he asked. “I’m parched.”

“I can get Monono to fetch you something,” Harlock said, already looking exhausted. “You came just for food, didn’t you?”

“I would never!” he gasped in mock-offense. “I came for the food  _and_ the booze  _and_ the nice company.”

Harlock looked like he believed that about as much as he believed my lie that I was sending money back home to a girlfriend. As he started down the stairs, I trailed after him. If nothing else, Frank could be entertaining for a while.

“So why don’t you have any tables out here yet?” he asked. “Is that some fancy restaurant thing? Not having tables? It’s fine, I guess. I’m used to eating with a plate in my lap, but I’d think high society could afford some tables.”

“You still haven’t told him?” I asked Harlock in a whisper.

“I’ve told him a dozen times, but he always thinks I’m kidding.”

I was amazed the other guys hadn’t come down to swarm him in attention yet. Frank was so dense that he thought he was getting lucky with a waiter, when really Harlock just had access to his bank account. He paid his dues like any other client. He just didn’t know about it.

According to Harlock, Frank was a couple years younger than his father, but I imagined they looked about the same, so if I’d ever gotten to meet my father, I pictured him just like Frank. Equally cheerful and equally stupid.

The sound of bare feet slapping against the floor made me turn to see Manabu stumbling to a stop at the top of the stairs. “Franklin!” he greeted with a grin and a wave. The kid was the only one in the family who seemed to actually like the guy.

Frank waved back, all smiles. “He’s cute,” he said to Harlock. “Have I met him? Did I sleep with him?”

Harlock’s voice was as dry as my home planet. “That’s Wataru’s son. He’s related to you. You’ve known him since he was a baby.”

“Oh!” Franklin laughed in an odd, wheezy sort of way, like there were holes in his lungs. “He looks different clean.”

To be fair, Manabu was in his pajamas and freshly-showered. His hair stuck to his face in ringlets and bounced along to each of his steps down the stairs. I swore the kid was a puppy in disguise, impossibly cute and eager to please.

“Uncle Franklin, I haven’t seen you in ages,” he said. “How’s Heavy Meldar?”

“About the same as always,” Frank said with a shrug. “Mostly dirt.”

“Gotten in any shootouts lately?”

“Not that they have any proof of.”

Harlock looked like he needed a stiff drink as his uncle whipped a gun from his holster and twirled it with ease. Harlock was also the only one who didn’t jump when the safety failed and the gun went off into the ceiling.

Poor Monono, also in his pajamas, almost threw the food tray in his hands into the ceiling alongside the bullet.

“Please stop trying to kill me,” Harlock said, just looking tired while my heart was trying to break out of my ribcage.

Not as concerned as I thought he should be, Frank frowned and looked over his gun. “Sorry, they’re getting old. I’ll take them apart and check them over.”

“That’s likely what ruined them to begin with,” Harlock muttered as he went over to take the tray from a startled Monono. Poor kid was frozen in shock. “Anyway, Uncle, it’s everyone’s night off, so I hope you weren’t expecting anything from my…wait staff. I’d like for all of them to get proper rest.”

“I’m content with just the meal then. Oh, but I did bring you this. Almost forgot. I’ll trade ya’.” After fishing in the cheap drawstring bag on his shoulder, he pulled out a stack of letters that looked halfway toward crumbling into dust. They were all tied by string, most the same size and shape.

“More mail day for you,” I noted as Harlock traded the tray of food for the letters, confusion twisting his features.

I peered around to see the return address on the top one - Warrius Zero. Judging by the flowing cursive, the letter may have been handwritten as well. It was addressed to Phantom F. Harlock, and once Harlock tugged the string loose and began flipping through them, it became apparent that they were all that way - to Harlock, from Zero. Still sealed.

“Never had a forwarding address for you, and I forgot all about them,” Frank said around a mouthful of potatoes. “Sorry about that. Had ‘em in an old trunk, and I just found them again.”

His hands dropped down to hide it, but I saw. Harlock was trembling. “I see. Thank you,” he said in a voice so thin it could shatter at any moment. He always fought so hard to hide everything, but he was losing his grip over a stack of letters.

He looked so vulnerable, so human, and I understood. Not completely. I would never understand what had happened between him and Zero. But I understood letters and all the memories and pain that could be locked within them.  

Because there were a hundred letters under my bed I’d never sent, filled with the truth, filled with every joyful and painful memory I had of being at the brothel. All the letters I was too scared to send to my brother. All the letters promising I’d see him soon.

“Go on,” I breathed just loud enough for Harlock to hear as I nudged my shoulder against his. “We can handle Uncle.”

He smiled. For just a moment, Harlock smiled at me, a slight tug at his lips that warmed his eye. He looked that way at Wataru and Manabu, occasionally even Frank, but not me.

We were related, but we weren’t family. We were much too odd to be family. We must have been something though because I smiled back before turning to Frank with a simple means of distraction.

“So how have your horses been?”

While Frank was sweating bullets and stumbling over an explanation of how he’d managed to kill his past several horses, Harlock slipped off. Manabu was invested enough in the odd tales not to notice either, but my mind kept drifting back to those damn letters. I did need to see my brother before I forgot what he looked like.

The homesickness was starting to kill me.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You can't make all these random characters related-"  
> Try to stop me.


	7. The Case of Yellow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut?? In my brothel AU??? Absurd.

I wasn’t sure if Harlock wanted to make it obvious that he was avoiding me. But it was obvious.

He would only stay in the same room with me if everyone else was with us. Even then, he wouldn’t make eye contact, wouldn’t speak to me. I tried to think what I could have done to bring on this kind of behavior, but I’d never made much sense of Harlock or the rest of his family.

I was fine to leave Harlock to his devices. I didn’t need his approval. Didn’t need him meddling all the time. I didn’t care if he was avoiding me.

But I didn’t like being ignored for no damn reason.

“Alright, what is it?” I asked once I’d shut the office door. He’d been spending more time than usual in there in his quest to avoid me.

“What’s what?” he asked, his eye locked on his computer. I doubted there was anything to see on his monitor.

Stalking up to him, I slammed my hands down on the desk to finally draw his gaze. “You know what’s what. What happened that’s got you all moody? You’re like a little kid again. Did I do something that upset you? If I did, you’ll have to explain. I can’t read minds.”

Rather than respond, his glare matched mine. We were at our usual deadlock. Childish as I felt, I refused to let him win. He always made me like this. Always had.

The day I was introduced to him, he stared up at me with those big brown eyes, framed by unbrushed curls. Poor kid was in desperate need of a haircut. After a minute spent watching me, he pointed up between my eyes and yelled, “Your nose is real big!”

“Phantom!” Wataru scolded as my hands shot to cover my nose. “Don’t be rude!”

“It’s true?” the kid shot back.

Wataru eyed Phantom the same way my moms looked at me when I did something they didn’t like. “Excuse my brother, Warrius. He has no manners. He’s been spending too much time around my father.”

“He’s a lot younger than you,” I said as I glanced around the house. They lived downtown, and it showed. The placed seemed to be held together by yellowing wallpaper and wobbly linoleum. There were mismatched, chipped dishes stacked in the sink, much like all the different chairs at the kitchen table where we sat.

“Phantom’s thirteen years younger than me, just a few years younger than you, really.” He returned to skimming over my homework, tapping his pencil against the tabletop. “He’s my half brother, though,” he added.

I glanced between them, Wataru with his calm brown eyes and strong jaw, and Phantom with his wild hair and squishy cheeks. If not for the age gap, though, they would have looked identical. There was no sign they had different parents.

Phantom returned to scribbling crayons around some copy paper with a vengeance. His tongue stuck out to the side as he concentrated on his work. I tried to make sense of what he was drawing, but it just looked like a blob to my eyes.

“This is fine,” Wataru said with a smile as he slid the papers back to me. “I’m not sure why your moms insist on me tutoring you. You’re plenty smart, Warrius.”

I could feel my heart hammering in my throat, my cheeks burning. “Thank you,” I mumbled.

He usually came to my house to look over my work, and when he’d leave, Mom would laugh. It wasn’t her or Ma who asked for his help. It was me. He was way too old for me to have a crush on. I was just some kid to him - a high-schooler. Even back then, I knew that. I didn’t ever expect anything of it, but I would make any excuse to be around him.

After Phantom’s mom got sick, our after-school tutoring sessions moved to his house. That first day, Phantom climbed into my lap without asking and showed me his picture. “Um, it’s nice,” I said.

“Dad’s spaceship!” he said.

“Your dad has a spaceship?”

“Yes! He’s cool!”

Wataru made a noise of displeasure as he opened the fridge. “Don’t go around advertising Father,” he said. “Now do you want potatoes?”

“No! No potatoes! Macaroni!”

Wataru leaned on the fridge door as he looked back at Phantom with dull eyes. “We had macaroni yesterday.”

Phantom reached up and smacked his hand against my face. “Warr’us wants macaroni!”

“I didn’t say that,” I said as I tried to pry his hand away.

He turned around and pinned me with the angriest glare I’d ever seen from a four year-old. “Yeah-huh.”

I glared right back until Wataru startled us both with a laugh that made my face burn again. “Not a lot of people challenge Phantom like that. You can’t win. You’ll just be stuck staring at him, but I’ll give you points for trying.”

He was right. I never really won. Even now, my eyes tore from Harlock’s as he yanked open a desk drawer. I could feel him still watching me as he pulled something out and tossed it on the desk. I recognized my own handwriting, but I couldn’t recall the envelope at first. The last time I’d written any letter to Harlock was…

“My uncle dropped a stack of those off when he was here last,” Harlock said.

Ah, so it was those letters. “Hm, I wouldn’t have expected him to keep them all these years,” I said as I picked up the old, frayed paper. The top had been sliced open. I doubted Franklin was the type to read others’ mail, meaning Harlock had read through them.  “So you finally got them then?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Harlock’s tone was accusing, like I’d wronged him somehow.

“What did it matter? You never got them, so it didn’t change anything. It was stupid anyhow, writing to an outlaw. Could have gotten me in so much trouble.”

As I removed the letter, I glanced up to see Harlock glowering at the wall. “I thought you hated me all that time,” he said. “I thought you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“I’ve never hated you, Harlock,” I sighed.

He jolted as though I’d slapped him. Once again, he was that wide-eyed child staring at me as I unfurled the letter.

Dear Harlock,

I hope this letter finds you well and all that. See past letters for proper formalities. I’m too tired for them right now.

The last few weeks have been rough. I’ve been missing home more than ever. We lost seven men in one battle, three in another. We’ve struggled to maintain repairs while the government keeps sending us on new missions.

I don’t begrudge them for it. There aren’t enough ships. They have to send us out to meet any oncoming threats, but I haven’t gotten a proper night’s sleep in ages. We’re all starting to lose it a bit. I’ll be fine, but I really need some sleep and a good day where things aren’t on fire. I love this ship, but something is always on fire.

I’m not really cut out for my new position. It’s becoming more and more apparent that we all get promotions based on how long we’re able to stay alive out here while everyone around us dies. I wasn’t trained for the position of First Officer, so I’m always two steps behind, having to check manuals. I just hope I don’t get anyone killed because of it.

Sorry to talk so much about myself. It must get boring to hear me complain. How are you? How’s Tochiro? I hear the Deathshadow made a mess of some space wolves a while back. Some of the crew here would probably like you if you didn’t also shoot at government crafts. Seriously, stop that. We need those.

We should have a leave on Earth in two months. I’ll likely sleep through the whole thing, but I’m looking forward to it. I’ll drink some cheap wine for you while I’m there, just like old times. Take care of yourself. Don’t do anything too stupid.

Sincerely,  
Warrius Zero

“I remember this,” I said. “Things were awful. We were low on supplies, and I ran on coffee until I passed out at my station. I wouldn’t recommend that. You feel like death.”

“I’m sorry,” he said like the wind had been knocked out of him. “I would have written back had I known.”

I wasn’t so sure. “No need to apologize. You never got the letters, so it doesn’t matter. I’m sort of embarrassed you read them now. I did do a lot of whining.”

At least that answered one thing I’d questioned since meeting him in that infirmary. When I was on the Karyuu, I imagined he did receive everything I wrote, but I didn’t know if he read them. Why should he? In my mind, he hated me. Some letters had sentences or paragraphs scribbled out to remove my apologies over how I had let us end things.

But when I saw him in that bed, almost as pale as the bandages, he looked up at me with sorrow in his now-lone eye. “I thought you’d given up on me,” he murmured in that drugged haze.

“Believe me, I tried,” I said. “But you’re a hard man to ignore.”

His eye searched me for answers, still sharp despite the fog over it. “Why are you here now? After all this time?”

“My ship’s gone too. My family…” The Machine Men’s all-out attack had taken everything. Even if I could have brought myself to work under them, they kept insisting I get a machine body. Either that, or I had to accept the mission to capture Harlock. I accepted to keep my humanity, and because I needed to know why Harlock hadn’t protected the Earth. The answer was that he had. He’d tried to, but he never got that far.

“We’re in the same boat,” I said as I brushed a few strands of hair from his face. “I’m an enemy of the government now. And your father asked me to look after you.”

His expression darkened at the mention of his father, the same way Wataru’s used to. “If you’re just doing this for him, why avoid me for so long? I wasn’t worth looking after then? Just now that I don’t have other people to look after me for you?”

My mouth was left partially open as I stopped myself from asking about the letters. I’d never abandoned him, but then, maybe letters weren’t enough. So I said nothing, unaware he’d never received them.

We stuck together because we were all we had left. He sulked for a while, missing his ship, his friends. I couldn’t say I was any better. I didn’t spend a single day sober for months.

If I’d been sober, he wouldn’t have come up with this stupid, insane brothel idea in the first place. I woke up to a raging headache, a spotty memory, and him sitting naked in bed beside me ranting about this amazing idea he had.

I had so many regrets in my life that I could have amassed an army out of them, but that night would have been one of my generals.

Perhaps everything would have turned out differently if he’d received my letters. Likely not, but the way he looked at them made me wonder. When I handed the envelope back to him, he took it as though it might crumble in his fingers.

“Well, with that out of the way, you can quit getting all anxious around me,” I said, still not sure why he’d reacted so oddly to receiving them. “Get some rest too. You look like you could use some sleep.”

He didn’t say anything as I turned and walked out, but I took a quick glance at him as I closed the door, still holding the letter, looking even more exhausted than before.

We were both so young then. Just stupid kids, too young to be fighting wars, too young to see so much death. I wished he would forgive himself, that stupid kid he used to be. That kid didn’t deserve all the blame Harlock placed on him. Just a boy trying to fill his father’s shoes. I couldn’t blame him for that.

But I could and would blame him for this terrible brothel filled with too many kids. Even Manabu was much too young for this, but Daiba and Tadashi were hardly teenagers! And I didn’t even want to think about Monono.

As I started back toward my room, I heard chattering from down the hall. Manabu’s door was open. No one was supposed to be alone with Manabu, so I had to check, even if it was a stupid rule.

“Manabu, please stop,” I heard as I neared. The voice definitely did not belong to any of our boys. No, it sounds like… Schwanhelt. Poor man was probably doing Wataru’s bidding again.

“But I’m attractive, right?” Manabu asked.

“S-sure. I mean- I don’t know, Manabu!”

“If you didn’t know me or my dad, you’d sleep with me, right?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t know you!”

“Well, that wasn’t a no.”

I turned at the doorframe to find Schwanhelt standing with his face in his hands beside the doorway. Manabu sat cross-legged on the bed. He’d undone his bowtie and the top button of his shirt. Subtlety was not this boy’s strong suit.

“Manabu, you know you’re not allowed to be alone with other men,” I said.

He flashed a grin. “Of course. Only you, Mr. Zero.”

My unamused glare only made his eyes shine. He’d been spending too much time around the other boys. They were bad influences.

“But the door was open,” he continued, “So I wasn’t really alone.”

“That’s not how it works,” I said as I grabbed Schwanhelt by the arm. “Sorry, Manabu, but…good attempt, I guess.”

That was enough to keep him from pouting as I dragged Schwanhelt away. The poor man still had a hand plastered to his face. “Ah, thanks, Warrius. I just need to…sit down somewhere for a while. If I could just…”

Schwanhelt lied about as well as most of the SDF - poorly. “Come here,” I said through a sigh, pulling him into my room. “God, you have it hard-up for that boy, don’t you?”

“I don’t. I don’t. I don’t.”

“Convincing,” I drawled. “Do you use this same method on Wataru? I’m sure he really falls for the part where you hide your eyes.”

That got him to look at me. “You can’t tell him! Oh God, I’ve done enough to hurt that family. I can’t have feelings for Manabu after everything that’s happened. I can’t.”

There was no point in treading old waters and trying to convince him what happened wasn’t his fault. He had to work that out on his own. But I wasn’t so bad a friend as to let him go so anxious and, well…

“Schwan, just sleep with me,” I said.

He froze. I could almost see the sirens spinning around in his head. “W-what, Warrius, I can’t-”

“It’ll relieve some tension,” I said. “Come on, Schwan, when’s the last time you had an orgasm?”

He blushed from his neck to his ears. Honestly, Schwanhelt was adorable. The uniform didn’t help. I was a sucker for those uniforms.

But coming right off from dealing with Manabu, he was a mess. “I-I can’t afford- I’m sorry-”

“I won’t charge you,” I said. “If you’re not up for it, it’s okay. I’ll leave, and you can hide out in here for a bit. It’s up to you.”

He stood in silence, a war behind his eyes. When he moved, it was for the door. Manabu really had his work cut out for him if he wanted to catch this one, I thought until Schwanhelt locked the door.

“Okay,” he said in a whisper.

He’d obviously never done this before. “You’ll have to be more explicit than that.”

His cheeks tinged red again. “Explicit? God, what do I need to say? Can’t we just get on with it?”

I shrugged. “That works.”

His back hit the door as I pushed up against him, locking our lips. He whimpered his contentment against me as I pressed my leg between his. Manabu had been more successful than he may have realized, and Schwan was quick to grind himself against my thigh. His hands locked onto the arm loops of my vest, pulling me in closer.

He tasted of strong coffee and desperation. His movements were all quick but strong. I let him take over the kiss, his chest heaving as he toyed with my tongue. By the time he pulled back for air, there was a line of saliva running from the corner of his mouth.

I breathed a laugh into his neck, peppering kisses up to his jaw. “Poor thing,” I said. “You have been neglecting yourself.”

“Warrius,” he groaned, now clawing at my back. “God, I need you.”

“How would you like this to go?” I asked before placing a gentle bite to his ear.

He stuttered a gasp. “I-I don’t know. Damn, don’t make me think now.”

I decided to make it easy for him. “Fast or slow?”

“Ahh, damn. F-fast. I can’t wait.”

“So impatient,” I laughed. “Do you want to go all the way, or do you just want me to suck you off?”

His hand returned to his face. “Fuck, don’t make me answer that.”

“So you want to go all the way.”

The stressed sound he made was enough of a confirmation.

“Top or bottom?”

“I-I don’t know!”

Again, I couldn’t help but laugh. “Go ahead and top this round.” Preparing him to bottom would add time, and he was suffering enough.

He whined his agreement as I pulled him back toward the bed with one hand and unbuttoned my vest with the other. By the time the back of my knees hit the bed, I had my shirt halfway undone as well. As I fell back, I pulled him down with me. He caught himself, his face flushed as he hung over me. His eyes fell to my bare chest, and he swallowed.

“You still doing okay?” I asked.

He did manage a smile then, if a shy one. “Yes, sorry. I’m not very good at this.”

“You’re doing fine,” I said as I placed my hands to his cheeks. “You will have to take something off to make this work though. Condoms are in the nightstand, of course, unless you want to fool around some more.”

“Ah, I wish I could,” he said, standing back up to take off his jacket while I finished removing my shirt. I went ahead and took off my shoes, pants, and boxers too while he fiddled with whatever weird undersuit came with those uniforms.

“Sorry-sorry,” he mumbled, as he partially tried to cover himself. His boxers really couldn’t hide anything, not that he had any reason to be so stressed. I was more exposed than he was.  

“It’s fine. I like a good show.” With him all flustered, I reached over and fished a condom out of the drawer myself, tearing it open with me teeth. “Come ‘ere,” I said around the plastic.

He leaned in as I spit the wrapper away, and I wrapped my hand around the back of his head to pull him in for another kiss. Clients didn’t kiss much, so it was more for me than him. He hummed and moaned sweetly into the kiss as it deepened. It also made him sink closer toward me, until I could yank down his boxers.

His breath hitched as I pulled from the kiss and moved to his neck. WIthout the collar of his shirt in the way, I could press soft love bites to his shoulder as I rolled the condom over his cock.

“Warrius,” he whimpered. His arms trembled as they held him up over me.

“Relax,” I breathed as I reached back over to my nightstand. “You feeling good?”

“God, yes. You’re amazing, Warrius.”

That sent a pleased shiver up my spine that made my toes curl. “Thank you. Now don’t lose yourself yet, alright?”

What started as a confused hum ended with him choking in surprise as I worked some lube over his cock. “Fuck,” he hissed. Before his arms could give out, I released him and leaned back, wiping what was left of the lube on my own half-hard cock. I was going to ask if he wanted me to turn over, but it seemed not. Grabbing my hips, he put one knee on the bed and lifted me up. I pulled one leg up to rest over his shoulder. Rare to have a client who didn’t want me face-down, but then again, he wasn’t a proper client.

Even rarer to have a client suddenly look so concerned. “A-are you prepared?” he asked.

I bit my lip to stifle a laugh. “Schwan, babe, I do this every day. As long as there’s lube, I can handle it.”

Still looking a bit nervous, he leaned in enough to kiss me somewhere between my eyelid and my nose. He must have missed wherever he’d intended to kiss me because he was too busy trying to hold himself together while pushing his cock inside me.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his fingers pressed tight to my hips.

Unlike him, I gave in with a gasp and a sigh, grasping for the sheets. God, he was so hot inside me. It made my whole body pulse. I needed him to let go too. I needed the rush and the heat. “Schwan,” I said as I fought to keep my hips from rolling. “Please fuck me.”

He choked as he tried to suck in air, but he was quick to give me what I asked. His hips pulled back and rocked into mine as he gasped my name. Then again. Again. Always with my name.

“That’s good,” I purred as my eyes rolled back. My body writhed without my permission, but I let it for once. “More, Schwan. Harder.” My chest rose and fell with each of my gasping breaths. “Faster.”

He gave a growl as he picked up his pace, as lost as I was in the pleasure. Only years of habit kept me talking.

“So good,” I moaned, gnawing my lower lip. “So hot.” It felt so damn close to heaven to be filled like that, and so damn close to hell to be on fire from the inside out. My back arched toward him as his pace became frantic. I loved drowning in his power, feeling the bed shake just like I did.

Through half-lidded eyes, I admired his smooth shoulders and chest. His muscles strained with every snap of his hips. Damn, he looked good. He could have moonlighted at the brothel if he wanted.

His voice was ragged when he finally strung together something coherent. “Oh god, Warrius. Fuck, I’m going to come.”

“Go ahead,” I panted. Before I could wrap my hand around my cock for my own release, his hand took my place, his thumb circling the head until he had me melting with weak whimpers, my hands fisted in the sheets. “Schwanhelt, more,” I begged.

Sweet as he was, he pumped my cock as his thrusts became erratic. I felt his whole form tremble as he came, riding out his orgasm with a few shallow thrusts. Only then did I let myself fall over the edge. The writhing pleasure in my gut became pulses of ecstasy as I came across my stomach. “S-Schwan,” I said through fragmented gasps.

As the pleasure faded, my body went slack. I bathed in the feeling of exhaustion and contentment, listening to Schwanhelt catch his breath. “Fuck, Warrius,” he said as he pulled out. “That was good.”

I hummed in response. I hadn’t had two rounds in one day in a while. I only had five clients a week, so I was pretty well worn out.

“Is this the part where I leave?” he asked.

My body shook with a silent laugh. “You’re welcome to join me for a shower,” I said. My body protested as I sat up, though I’d never listened to its complaints before, and I wouldn’t now. “And thanks, Schwanhelt, that was nice.”

Even then, he blushed. “M-my pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This odd crack pair was brought to you by a request.


	8. The Case of Orange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of keep forgetting to update on here. Anyway, more weird crack pair smut.

Playing any drinking game with Zero was a bad idea. Even with poor Manabu sitting with a full row of shots in front of him, Zero still seemed like the soberest one out of all of us. Meanwhile, Dick was losing. Badly.

He spoke with a bit of tongue-tied slur and a dopey smile. “I’ve run shout- out of things I’ve never done. Um…” With his eyes shut tight, he wracked his liquor-tinted brain until his hands shot up with a revelation. “Oh! I’ve never fucked my brother.”

I stopped the glass before it reached my lips. “You have a brother?”

He rambled a series of nonsense, trying to blow the question off in a nonchalant manner, I assumed. “No,” he finally answered.

He was lying.

“Then it’s not really a fair thing to say you’ve never done,” I said.

“Fine. I’ve never fucked a relative.”

As I took another shot, his triumphant laugh made me want to punch him to the floor, which I doubted he could have gotten up from. I was starting to worry he might spill a shot all over the carpet. If it had been anyone else’s room, I wouldn’t have cared, but I’d dragged everyone into mine for this game.

“Does it count if I’ve only been fucked by my brother?” Susumu asked. Zero dropped his face in his hands, and Manabu hadn’t looked up from a staring match with his shots in some time. I wasn’t sure Shep knew how the game worked because he would just sip from the glasses every now and then. Judging by the way it made him shudder, he was doing it to be polite.

Dick decided it did count for Susumu, so my brother knocked back a shot as well, followed by a quick drink of his chaser. Even the weak alcohol we were using was rough on him. Probably for the best that Manabu hadn’t gotten to drink anything. He was surely a lightweight.

“Your turn,” I told him when he didn’t look up from his shots.

“Oh!” His head jerked up, but surprise turned to resignation in an instant. “I’ve never- uh, what have I already said? I’ve never slept with an alien, I guess. I don’t know.”

After watching the rest of us drink, even Shep took a shot that round, though Susumu had to share his chaser with the poor guy.

We might as well have fucked the aliens in front of him for the look on Manabu’s face. “You all have?”

“They’re my favorite clients,” Dick giggled.

“I’ve had a couple,” Zero said. “Usually more polite than humans.”

“Yeah, how’s your guy?” I asked as I fell to lean against Susumu’s shoulder. He sent me to the floor with a quick shove.

“No touching,” he said. Even a few drinks weren’t enough to get him to talk about that damn client of his. My plan had gotten me nowhere. “It’s my turn, so never have I ever given a footjob.”

Dick and I whined like abused dogs as Zero knocked back a shot so quick I only saw him set the glass down and swallow.

“No fair, Susumu,” I said. “I always dealt with the foot fetishes so you wouldn’t have to.”

“Footjobs make my feet cramp,” Dick muttered before taking his shot.

“Foot…jobs?” Manabu echoed. “So like, they get off by having their feet touched?”

Zero took another shot without needing to while I tried my best not to burst into laughter like Dick, who was rolling on the floor. “It’s like a handjob but with your feet,” Susumu said.

Manabu didn’t respond beyond the confusion filling his face.

“Maybe we should have someone go over kinks with you in case you get a weird first client,” Susumu said.

Dick spoke between fits of giggles. “Someone would have to be crazy to touch that boy.”

With a sigh, Zero stood and walked over to Dick. “You’ve had enough,” Zero said. “Let’s get you some water.”

Dick’s protests stopped as soon as Zero scooped him up into a cradle. “You’re so strong!” he cooed. Even as Zero carried him out, we could hear Dick’s voice trailing off. “Zero, why don’t you ever sleep with me? I look like Wataru, don’t I? No! You can’t drop me! You have to be nice to me. I’m cute.”

“Uncle Dick is kind of weird,” Manabu said, though a smile curled at his lips.

Dick was weird, but hearing Dick called Uncle was weirder. The guy was younger than I was and sure acted like it. Of course, Wataru was almost twice as old as Dick. That kept them from looking too similar, but it was impossible to deny that they were brothers. Looked more similar than Susumu and I. But unfortunately for Manabu, he also looked much like his father, so it was apparent he and Dick were related.

“You ever worry some weirdo is going to ask for the two of you together?” I asked Manabu.

He must not have thought about it before. Eyes rolled up, he hummed in thought. “I don’t know that Uncle Phantom would let anyone do that. Besides, I think once the clients realized we were related like that, they wouldn’t be interested.”

“Oh, he’s so cute,” Susumu said.

I nodded. “He’s so innocent. I feel bad.”

“I’m not innocent!” Manabu spluttered with the cutest, most innocent blush I’d ever seen.

“We’ve had clients who didn’t even want us to touch them,” Susumu said. “Just wanted to watch.”

“Watch what?”

“Us have sex.”

“Th-they know you’re brothers, right?”

I hand my hands over my mouth to hide my smile, but the trembling of my shoulders was giving my snickering away. “He’s too pure,” I murmured through my fingers. “We’re corrupting him.”

Susumu held things together better, though his hand undoubtedly hid a smile as well. “Better us than a client,” he said. “Manabu, it’s because we’re brothers. That was kind of our schtick until I became exclusive.”

Manabu’s wide eyes narrowed to a squint. “Clients are weird,” he said.

My laughter escaped then, enough to make my stomach ache. I could hardly speak around my gasps for air. “You don’t know the half of it! Tell you what, babe.” He didn’t look impressed by my wink. “Once you’re not a virgin, if you need anyone to teach you some of the weird stuff, just let me know. I’ll make sure to take things slow for you.”

“Stop,” was all Harlock had to say as he appeared in the doorway. He fit his given name well. I never heard him coming.

“We were just wrapping up,” I said. “Manabu didn’t know what a footjob was.”

Harlock looked inches away from shooting himself out an airlock, but he simply said, “You all should go to bed. Tomorrow’s a theme day, and I don’t need you all hungover for it.”

“Oh, I forgot we were having a theme day,” I said. “Good, I’ve been so bored! What’s the theme for this one, Captain? Cat ears? I want to do cat ears. Manabu would look cute in them. It’s a good idea, Captain. Come on!”

He blinked at me. “You’re drunk. And no, it’s just tuxes this time.”

“Boring!” I howled.

Harlock was probably on his best behavior after Zero almost killed him and several potential clients. For the last theme day we were scheduled to wear sailor uniforms, which Zero was fine with until Harlock handed him an old-fashioned schoolgirl outfit. After refusing to shave his legs, Zero sat sulking in the corner all night. He didn’t get any new clients out of it, but I sure did. I looked damn good in a skirt.

“Considering how many clients you lost, we may have more theme days in the future,” Harlock said. “We currently have some open days on the schedule for next month. If you can convince Zero, I’ll order some cat ears.”

“And tails!” I added, throwing my arms up. Shep was the only one smiling along with me, but he was always smiling.

Theme days were purely for attracting more clients, so the captain scheduled them on our occasional empty days. Dick and I usually competed to see who could get the most guys, but without Susumu hanging on my arm, I was at a disadvantage.

The next day, as the rest of us slipped into the fancy tuxes Harlock had ordered, Susumu got to wear the same white vest and black shirt as Kei, Daiba, and Tadashi.

“It’s been awhile since I wore pants,” Tadashi said, turning to look himself over as Zero tried to knot his bowtie. The kid had fiddled with it so much that he’d pulled it loose, but I couldn’t blame him. The bowties were a tad stuffy.

Harlock had gotten us all color-coordinated ones, as usual. Mine was orange, Zero’s was an eye-blinding shade of yellow, and Shep had one one in purple, pink, and yellow because, as Harlock put it, “It was cute, and I wanted to see him in it.” Couldn’t argue with him there. Shep was a mess of colors and adorable.

Manabu was also cute as anything with his little blue bowtie, though his hair remained its usual bird’s nest despite our attempt to tame it with combs and hairspray. Zero gave up after half an hour to focus on making sure Daiba and Tadashi looked presentable. Neither of them knew how to dress themselves.

“Stay still,” Zero sighed as Tadashi tried to look at his own back. Tadashi complied but was quick to pout. “Now, let’s go over this again. What do you need to say to any of the men who come in?”

“Absolutely nothing,” the kid grumbled.

“If they ask you anything?”

“Answer quickly and move on.”

“If they come onto you?”

“I’m not a sex worker. I’m fifteen,” he recited.

“Good. Susumu?” Zero called to where my brother was sitting on a couch.

He answered in such a rehearsed voice he could have been a robot. “I am not available right now, but I’d be happy to recommend someone else.”

“And if someone is making you uncomfortable?” Zero asked.

“Call for Kei,” they both answered.

“And if someone is touching you?”

“Yell for Daiba.”

Zero either smirked at how well he’d trained the boys or how neat he’d gotten Tadashi’s bowtie. “Very good,” he said. “Now don’t fiddle with your clothes, Tadashi. You look very nice.”

That got the kid all red-faced and beaming. Zero’s compliments had that sort of effect on everyone.

Once we complained enough to Harlock to get the A/C cranked up, we all sat around the foyer in the stuffy tuxes waiting for all the skeevy rich guys to arrive. Manabu grilled me and Dick for the best way to get clients.

“Just look cute and real available,” I said. “Be as slutty as possible.”

“Don’t do that,” Zero said.

“As long as they don’t know your last name, you’ll be fine,” Dick said. “You should play up that virgin thing. Be all innocent.”

Zero sighed. “Don’t do that either.”

Manabu rested his elbows on his knees, his chin in his palms. “Then what’s the best way to get clients, Mr. Zero?” he asked.

“Look unavailable. The clients who seek out your attention are either going to be assholes who are full of themselves or the types who will do anything for your approval. They’re easy to tell apart, and clients who want to please you are the best ones to have.”

“Yeah, but this is why you have like five clients,” I said.

“I’m old,” he grumbled. “That’s plenty for me.” We were only a few years apart.

Daiba piped in with his usual enthusiasm as he carried in a tray of full champagne flutes. “There are no good clients! They’re all disgusting.”

“Look!” Tadashi chirped as he hopped up to his brother’s side. The two looked pretty identical standing next to each other. “Mr. Zero fixed my outfit. He said I look nice.” The kid did a twirl on his heel. I was starting to think he just liked playing dress up.

“You do,” Daiba snapped, still all fired-up. “I have to go get the hours-do-overs!

Tadashi blinked. “The…the what?”

“Have we tried getting that kid some schooling?” Dick asked as Daiba stormed off.

“He can’t sit still long enough for any subject,” Zero sighed. “He’s getting better at reading though.”

If Daiba needed lessons in anything it was probably customer service. None of the men who steadily filed in wanted any of the hors d'oeuvres from the silver tray he carried. His glare was enough to run a man through.

A few of our old regulars stopped by to chat me up. They all tried to hide their disappointment when I assured them Susumu wasn’t available at the moment. When they mingled with Susumu as well, I kept an eye on him, but he brushed them off with a calm smile.

Shep wasn’t much for these sorts of showpieces, unable to chat clients up. Harlock had pulled out an old poker table for him this round, though, and Shep seemed to be having a good time, judging by the smile on his face as he let the potential clients win. Had it been a real game, he would have trashed them as easily as he did any of us, but you didn’t win any clients from animosity.

Dick, the damn snake, slipped around the room chatting up every man along the way. As soon as I shook my usual clients who had just come for the free drinks. I had a mind to do the same. I wouldn’t let him take all the good ones.

That idea lasted all of a second. A hand latched onto my arm, and I turned to see Harlock with his eye toward the door. I flicked my eyes to their corners in response. A young man stood just inside, fidgeting with the cuffs of his sleeves. Even from across the room, I could see him swallow his nerves. There were anxious clients all the time, but I knew the look in his eyes from somewhere else - the guys who were dragged to the brothel by friends or dared.

“Who put that poor bastard up to this?” I asked, stepping closer to Harlock so we could speak low. “He barely looks Manabu’s age. Cute though.”

Harlock pretended to fix my bowtie. “I saw some evidence your government might send someone to check on you. I believe he’s the one.”

That kid? A spy? There was no way. But Harlock was rarely wrong.

“So what’s the plan?” I asked.

“Depends. I don’t like for things to get messy.” His eye flicked up to catch mine. “So do you think you could seduce him?”

I flashed a grin. “No problem, Captain.”

“Be careful,” Harlock said as I slipped past him. “Your government isn’t above sending assassins when they want to quiet something.”

The guy still hadn’t moved from his spot when I popped up beside him. “You look like a first timer,” I said.

He took a step back, eyes wide. He had damn pretty eyes, deep brown like his feathery hair. His clothes fit him well enough to show how lean he was. Likely had good muscle. Could have been a good whore if he wanted to be.

“Oh, yes,” he said, forcing the tension from his shoulders. “I was curious after hearing about this event.”

“They’re usually more fun than this, but the boss decided to be all formal this round.” I offered him my hand with a wink. “I’m Mamoru, and you are?”

“Yama,” he said. He was polite enough to try shaking my hand, but I clamped my fingers around his and leaned down to brush my lips across his knuckles.

“Nice to meet you, Yama.” I wondered if that was his real name. I’d given him mine, so it was only fair.

“Ah, thanks.” He snatched his hand away, hiding it behind his back. I couldn’t have asked for an easier target.

“So what are you into, pretty boy? Or do you need a drink first?”

“Oh, no thanks.” His voice found an even pitch, and a smile graced his features. “I’m just…”

“Browsing?” I asked with a chuckle. “Well then let me be your shopping guide.”

He was a good enough sport to cross his arms and smirk. “Very well.”

“Little boy blue over there is our resident virgin.” I gestured to Manabu, who was trying his best to not be ignored. A few men would talk to him, but they never stayed long. Poor kid.

“A virgin at a brothel?” Yama asked.

“For now. He’s got quite the price tag.”

Yama hummed in thought before responding. “I feel like having a more experienced prostitute would be better.”

“Naturally.” With a snap, I pointed to Zero. “That’s our eldest whore, but he’s very picky about clients. I can put in a good word if you’d like.”

“He’s certainly attractive,” Yama said. “But I don’t know that I could pass whatever requirements he has.”

Oh, certainly not. Zero would never take a client so young.

“If you’re looking for someone with zero standards, there’s your guy.” I waved a hand toward Dick, surrounded by enthralled men like a siren in the sea. “He’s the one you’ll want if you have more unique tastes.”

“I see,” was all Yama had to say.

“And of course there’s our resident alien. He gets the most clients.”

“He’s cute. I like his bowtie.” Yama’s eyes swept the room one more time before turning to me. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“You haven’t talked yourself up yet. Not much of a salesman.”

He’d certainly found his stride in his act. I’d met some of our spies before, and Harlock was right - of course Harlock was right. Yama was a spy. I could see it in those pretty brown eyes. Everything about his expression, voice, and stance was a lie, a mask.

I was determined to take it off.

“Well, I’m the Jack of all trades,” I said, turning to him with a bow.

“Master of none?” he shot back.

“Wouldn’t you like to find out?”

He rolled his eyes, but I could tell by his smile he was charmed - a crack in his mask. “You should work on your sales pitch.”

“Okay, but you have to admit I’m the most attractive whore here.”

A flicker of fire appeared in his eyes. “I suppose.”

His mask fell away as easily as his clothes after that. And damn did he look good with everything off. “On your knees, pretty boy,” he panted, his lips painted from our bruising kiss. The shower steam blanketed the glass doors in a fog as the water rolled down that gorgeous, scarred skin of his.

“I thought you were the pretty boy,” I said as I followed orders.

“You were the one bragging. Aren’t you going to show me what you can do?” He threaded his fingers through my soaked hair, tugging me toward him. Like I’d ever let him have it so easily.

Instead, I grabbed his hips and trailed my tongue along the scar running across his hipbone on his left side. His hand tightened in my hair, and his hips jerked. I must have done something right.

“Why are you in such a rush?” I asked.

“Just want to shut you up,” he said. “You talk too damn much.”

“Well I am good with my mouth.” Taking his cock in my hand, I ran the flat of my tongue up the side to the tune of an appreciative hiss.

“Don’t slip,” I said. “Very dangerous in a shower.”

“Oh, shut up,” he groaned.

For all his talk, he didn’t pull my hair like someone who wanted control. He let me play with him a bit more, let me lick and suck as I pleased until his whimpers became desperate and the hot water began to tinge his skin pink. It was a good thing he was so sensitive because I wasn’t all that great at deepthroating.

Jack of all trades and all that.

“Mamoru-” He bit his lip to stop himself, but the weak thrust of his hips and the trembling of his legs said it all as I circled my tongue around the tip of his cock.

“Don’t worry,” I purred. “I won’t let you fall.”

Naturally, the easiest way to prevent that was to pick him up. I gripped his thighs tight enough to bruise, but I wanted the government to know what I’d done with their pretty little spy. Rather than protest, his arms locked around my neck without needing prompting.

“Please,” he panted. “Inside me… I want…”

“Of course, pretty boy,” I breathed against his ear as I pressed his back to the glass wall of the shower and pushed into him. The inside of his tight ass was hotter than the scalding shower water.

Every thrust chipped away at what little self control he had left, until his ankles were locked around me as well, and he was talking as dirty as any of us.

“I-I want all of you inside me,” he groaned, his fingers digging into my back. “Fill me up. M-make me your bitch, pretty boy.” Now I understood why clients like to hear nonsense like that. It made me want to fuck him harder just to hear how far he’d go, just to see his eyes roll back and that lustful smile spread across his face.

It was the first time in awhile I lost myself to a client, just let myself go. I thrust into him with the reckless abandon that said he was mine.

“Say it again,” I begged him as I neared the edge. “Say you’re my bitch.”

He was so flushed and starry-eyed that he would have said anything for me. “I’m your bitch,” he whimpered. “Oh God, I’m your bitch, pretty boy.”

I had to press myself against him to keep upright as I came, my entire body trembling. He came whimpering my name as soon as I wrapped my hand around his cock.

“Oh, you’re good,” I panted as we both settled down from the buzzing high of orgasm. “I might have to keep you.”

He was so spent that the sweet, sleepy hums were all I could get out of him until I carried him to my bed wrapped in one of my robes. He fell asleep within seconds of his head hitting the pillow. Harlock didn’t care much for clients spending the night because then we had to feed them breakfast, but I wouldn’t complain about getting to spoon a pretty spy for the night.

He was almost definitely overheated. His skin felt like a furnace, and I reveled in it. Dick may have gotten more guys, but I won.

Even Yama shooting up in bed the next morning with a gasp of, “Oh my God, Ezra’s going to kill me,” couldn’t dampen my spirits. Could have done without him getting up so early though.

“Shh,” I breathed, pawing for his arm. “Come back to sleep.”

But he rolled out of bed. “I’ve got to go. He’s going to kill me. Oh my God.”

“Okay, well, you come back and see me, pretty boy,” I mumbled.

All I heard in response was him cursing up a storm as he tried to find where I’d thrown his clothes the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no alternate universe where Yama is a good spy.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to request smut of any of the boys (except the underage ones because that doesn't really adhere to this story's rules) if you want to see particular ones fuckin, and if I'm up for writing it and can work it into the story, I'll write you some rarepair porn. It is a brothel after all.


End file.
